The Unexpected CH 1

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"STOP!" My loud voice boomed into Rylee's ears. He kept moving, his strength pushed me to the ground no matter how hard I fought. The alley was cold and dark, nobody seemed to have heard me for what seemed like mile. "STOP!" I could yell at him for years if I had the strength, but I was getting tired. My arms were weak and I couldn't punch him with such force any more. "Please!" I pleaded him with tears running down my face. At this moment I wished Sara had never introduced me to the magical Rylee, only he didn't seem so magical anymore, just evil. "Stop!" I shouted with all my might one last time.
Finally Rylee stood up, and turned, walking away from the crime he just committed. He stood at the end of the alley under a street light looking like a scared, stray dog. I lay on the ground, my breath came shallow and labored. Suddenly the shadow ran off into the darkness and the city was quiet again. I was just raped by that magical boy everyone desired. That was my last thought as I drifted into unexpected unconscousness.

"Kiley!" I was shaken loose of the foggy haze. "We found her!" A man in a bright orange vest pulled me from my spot on the street. My father came running into the alley, I'd never seen him in tears before today. He grabbed me from the officer, his strong arms held no fear. He helped me into the back of his pickup truck.
"What happened Kiley?" He sat across from me, his dark eyes staring into mine. I blinked at the sudden change in brightness as he turned the key in the ignition. "Come on, talk!" I sensed worry in his voice.
In my scraggly voice, from screaming for what seemed like hours just a short time ago I began to expain. Rylee, dad knew was a boy from the Catholic school, Rylee was assumed to be 'a good kid.' I told how he'd offered to take me out for a fancy dinner. Dad nodded, he'd all ready knew this part of the situation. Words kept flowing on how Rylee had taken me down an alley once the air was dark and streets were no longer filled with people. He claimed there was a restaurant down this way that he really loved. So I followed him, but once there was no more ground to cover, Rylee had pushed me down into the dirt and forced unwanted sex upon my soul. I told my father how I screamed for help until I ran out of energy and simply passed out. I yawned sleepily.
Dad began to drive the familar route that lead home. I stood, as if on quew, when the truck suddenly shook to a stop. The door opened for me as dad lifted my 120 pounds off the seat onto the gravel of our driveway.
"Darling! I was heartsick!" Mom raced out the front door, tears of worry running down her face. She picked my drooping face up between both hands and kissed it with all her might. She lead me inside the warm house and to my bed. Sitting me on the soft matress mom's carful hands tucked the blankets tightly around my body. "Sleep dear." She flicked off the lights and left the room leaving me to the frightning thought of being found by the magical Rylee. I drift off into sleep thinking only of the scary boy I once thought of as a dreamy young man.
Last edited by MandaPanda1031 on Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Okay, so there are several spelling errors, but I can never catch them all so I would suggest finding someone to help you with that. A few I noticed right off the bat will be in my nitpick, and what i write is in bold.

MandaPanda1031 wrote:"STOP!" My loud voice boomed into Rylee's ears. He kept moving, his strenghstrength pushed me to the ground no matter how hard I fought. The allyalley was cold and dark, nobody seemed to have heard me for what seemed like a mile. "STOP!" I could yell at him for years if I had the strength, but I was getting tired. My arms were weak and I couldn't punch him with such force any more. "Please!" I pleaded him with tears running down my face. At this moment I wished Sara had never introduced me to the magical Rylee, only he didn't seem so magical anymore, just evil. "Stop!" I shouted with all my might one last time.
Finally Rylee stood up, and turned, walking away from the crime he just committed. He stood at the end of the allyalley under a street light looking like a scared, stray dog. I lay on the ground, my breath came shallow and layboredlabored. Suddenly the shadow ran off into the darkness and the city was quiet again. I was just raped by that magical boy everyone desired. That was my last thought as I drifted into unexpected uncontiousnessunconsciousness.

"Kiley!" I was shaken loose of the foggy haze. "We found her!" A man in a bright orange vest pulled me from my spot on the street. My father came running into the alley, I'd never seen him in tears before today. He grabbed me from the officer, his strong arms held no fear. He helped me into the back of his pickup truck.
"What happened Kiley?" He sat across from me, his dark eyes staring into mine. I blinked at the sudden change in brightness as he turned the key in the egnitionignition. "Come on, talk!" I senced sensedworry in his voice.
In my scragally scragglyvoice, from screaming for what seemed like hours just a short time ago I began to expain. Rylee, dad knew was a boy from the Cathlic Catholicschool, Rylee was assumed to be 'a good kid.' I told how he'd offered to take me out for a fancy dinner. Dad nodded, he'd all ready knew this part of the situation. Words kept flowing on how Rylee had taken me down an alley once the air was dark and streets were no longer filled with people. He claimed there was a restrantrestaurant down this way that he really loved. So I followed him, but once there was no more ground to cover, Rylee had pushed me down into the dirt and forced unwanted sex appon uponmy soul. I told my father how I screamed for help until I ran out of energy and simply passed out. I yawned sleepily.
Dad began to drive the familar route that lead home. I stood, as if on quew, when the truck suddenly shook to a stop. The door opened for me as dad lifted my 120 pounds off the seat onto the gravel of our driveway.
"Darling! I was heartsick!" Mom raced out the front door, tears of worry running down her face. She picked my drooping face up between both hands and kissed it with all her might. She lead me inside the warm house and to my bed. Sitting me on the soft matress mom's carful hands tucked the blankets tightly around my body. "Sleep dear." She flicked off the lights and left the room leaving me to the frightning thought of being found by the magical Rylee. I drift off into sleep thinking only of the scary boy I once thought of as a dreamy young man.



Okay, so you seem to begin at the very end of a story... is there supposed to be more before this? I did correct most of the errors, but a few may have escaped my attention. It's good, but I'm just wondering if you had more to add either before or after this
You have been adressed by the Lady of the Dragons, lol



I think the best thing about making it into the quote generator is when nobody tells you, so one day you're just scrolling and voila, some phenomenally inane thing that crawled out of your dying synapses and immediately regretted being born the second it made contact with the air has been archived for all time. Or worse, a remark of only average inanity. Never tell me when you've put me in the generator. Pride-tinged regret just doesn't taste the same without the spice of surprise.
— SirenCymbaline