Love (Unfortunately)

Individuality has always been

Lacking in love, or lust at least,
Or maybe I’ve defied all belief,
Vanity too common for
Even the truest truth to really be.

You know I mean well though;
Only you allow it to take you anyway.
Unhallowed hearts will make ours change.

Oh nice ! At first, I didn't see that it was an acrostic...until i wondered why you every letter starting a phrase was in italic -__-

I do like it, though I have to say I had to read it through a LOT before I could fully understand it. I tend to read things out loud the first few times and I kept having to stop because it just didn't fit together right....

Individuality has always been You start off with talking about what individuality is NOT, what exactly IS it? Explain to the reader what is going on.

Lacking in love, or lust at least, We see lust in every day life, why is individuality lack this? I don't understand????
Or maybe I’ve defied all belief, All belief in WHAT? Again, you're being to vague and it's confusing the reader.
Vanity too common for
Even the truest truth to really be. I don't understand, where did vanity come from? What is truth? Where did all of this pop into play? Where did individuality go?

You know I mean well though; Nope, no I don't. Not at all. You might not be talking to me specifically, but I should be able to understand it. What's going on here? It's good but EXPLAIN it.
Only you allow it to take you anyway.
Unhallowed hearts will make ours change.

**What I suggest is that you try to expand, I don't fully understand it and though it may make sense to you because it was your idea and your thought process, doesn't mean other will understand it as perfectly. I also don't understand where individuality went. You start off with it as though it is you most prominent idea, the main focus of the poem, it even has it's own line (yes, for the purpose of the whole "I love you" thing it has to, but it doesn't make SENSE). I like the idea of I love you being spelled out, but it's a hard thing to do to make it that way and have it make sense. You talk about individuality for three lines as though it's the main topic, and then never talk about it again. You're jumping around too much. Great potential, but stick with one topic or properly bridge the gap between the first one and the second. Expand on individuality, or stick to love, but it's too confusing when you're trying to explain both without explaining either.

Hi Story! Here to review. ^^

Well, I'm just going to quickly say that I'm not sure how I feel about this poem. Number one reason being that it's an acrostic poem, and for an acrostic, you've got a pretty decent theme going here. They can be tricky to work with sometimes. xD

But to be honest, it seemed like a big huge jumble of words in most places. And it just didn't make a lot of sense. For starters, this line was probably my least-favorite out of the entire thing:

Even the truest truth to really be.

I didn't like it because it didn't quite fit in with the last line. I suppose that you could tie it together, but it just doesn't sound right, not to mention the line is extremely wordy and hard to read.

But that was the problem with most of the poem, I found - it was really hard to piece together, and there were a lot of areas that contained far too many words. Acrostic poems are simple, but they're only really enjoyable when it all fits and flows together. Which, granted, is extremely hard to do with acrostics as you're somewhat limited to word and phrasing choice. xD

There were also areas here where I was starting to wonder if it wasn't an alliteration poem? The first line was all L - which sort of made me assume that it was going to be all alliterations. But, I suppose that wasn't the case. Not that this matters too much, it's just something to look over quickly.

All in all, I'd just check your word choice and phrasing over - make it fit together more and try to expand on what you're saying without over-stuffing each and every line. Readability is usually an important aspect. xD

Keep writing,
~~Ish.

I don't have any critiques for this, because it's an acrostic, which I really don't know how to review, other than to say that I love them. The 'I love you' totally melted my heart. Wonderful job.

awww That was a nice one your poem spells I Love You!!!