Although My Life is Passing by

Spoiler

Earlier this school year, my English class had to write "letters to Emily Dickinson." Within my letter I wrote a poem. Death and dying was the theme of many of Dickinson's poems, so I tried to use the same theme. Let me know what you think!

Although my life is passing by,
I often stop to think.
How some small ones are being born,
while others – on the brink.

My life has been filled with questions,
– ones that I dare not ask
For when I leave the Lord will know,
and give me a new task.

It seems that life is all the same,
we live, we love, we pass.
But we all should enjoy the ride,
– make every moment last.

Hello! I must say- this is a really good poem! I like the rhyming scheme and the end-rhymes in the poem, especially "think" and "brink," "ask" and "task," and "pass" and "last". I really like the message in the poem, which, to me, is life may be the same and mysterious, but we should still enjoy it. That's a really great message and, so far, I haven't seen it in other poems on this website.

I have actually read some poems by Emily Dickinson, but they were okay. They weren't my cup of tea. I prefer William Wordsworth and William Shakespeare. Getting back to reviewing your poem, I noticed you put what the theme of your poem is. In my opinion, I think you shouldn't put what the theme is because the reader might want to figure out what the theme of your poem is, rather than already knowing what it is. Although, I like the length of your poem because it just centers on and strengthens the message in your poem. For example, certain long poems do center on their messages, but the length could weaken the strength of the messages, while certain short poems really center on their messages, they could lack emphasis on the messages. However, to me, yours is just right! Overall, great job on writing this poem! Keep writing poetry!

Hey Jessa!

A cute (that's probably the wrong word, but you get my drift) rhyming poem! You have good rhythm and your rhyme scheme is consistent. I don't have much to say-- it was solid, but it didn't move me, didn't tell me anything I didn't know or show me an image I hadn't seen before. You're dealing with death, which is so wide a theme it can be explored to the ends of the earth and back and still not cover everything, so I felt like this was a bit short. Bring something unique to the table about passing on-- the "make every moment last" argument has been used before, and it's a little preachy. How should we make every moment last? How did this narrator do in life, looking back as he/she is now? What kinds of questions did she have? Were any of them answered?

This is a great practice poem, but if you'd like to do something with it, I'd expand it and explore the subject more deeply. This is just scraping the surface of the imagery, emotions, and poetic license you can take with this. Good luck, and PM me for anything!

~Evi

Well, you know the way to my heart-- short, sweet, and simple! And, that's exactly what this poem was.

I absolutely adore this! And, I can totally tell it was inspired by Emily Dickinson. In a very good way!

Great job!.. truly great!

I like the simplicity and clarity. The message just flows through the lines. Good work!

I absolutely love this. It's absolutely great! I loved the pauses you added; it definately gave it flavor. It's so simple, and so thought prevoking. Amazing work!

Pretty short but I still love this. I usually don't like rhyme very much you made it work very well. I would suggest adding a little more to this to let us know where you stand on the matter. Some imagery or thoughtfull words would be nice too. All in all, this is a very wonderfull write. Great job, and good luck on future writes.

Hello, Jessa! This poem's really a good one! I love EMily Dickinson, and yes, this is one good poem that you made!