Just Another Boy Meets Girl

To love you is a challenge,
To know you is a gift.
To dislike you is impossible,
But I'm hoping our hearts may drift.

To love you is an art form,
To understand you takes time.
I can't forget the past,
That was meant to be yours and mine.

I once loved you,
With every bit of my soul.
I once cared for you,
As many have cared before,
I once felt something unique,
But intern filled my heart with sadness,
Turned my mind cold and bleak.

My love for you was a fabric rose.
Too beautiful and infinite,
But not real to touch.
Not real to feel.
Not real to guard me at night,
Or protect while I heal.

What can your words do for me?
Expect fill my heart with temporary joy.
Why couldn't things be much simpler?
Just another girl meets boy.

This was an interesting poem. I like it. I would think to tidy up the rhythm, it's affecting the flow a little bit.

But intern filled my heart with sadness,

Unless you are talking about doctors, this should be "in turn, filled"

great job!

This is beautiful, something I can relate to in a way. I know I'm a very bad critic, but I don't have anything mean to say about it. ^_^ haha.

Heyy! Here to review your poem!!

For the most part I liked it, but in the middle the flow gets a little choppy. You start out with a good flow and rhythm, but then the rhymes get twisted. I understand the desire to maybe make the poem have a little bit of variety, but for me I like it when poems maintain a steady flow. Other then that, I didn’t find any edits for grammar or punctuation so nicely done on that!! Keep writing!

-Jessa

Good, story-er- I mean poem, sorry I get mixed up sometimes. I really feel the heart exprssed in it, which I like. Feelign like your the person, great job!

This is a good starting point for a poem. I think that the flow (as mentioned before) could probably be cleaned up a little bit, because it seemed to jump around a little.

What can your words do for me?
Expect fill my heart with temporary joy.

Was "Expect" supposed to be "except"?
In my opinion, the first two stanzas were very good, but then the lines started skipping a bit from there.
Hope this helped! Keep writing!!

Hey Brown! Here to review! ^^

First of all: I'm going to say that I did and didn't like this all at the same time.

I didn't like it because it's an overused topic, and I didn't really like the rhyming scheme (I'll explain that later, though). The whole falling in love thing is an overused topic, but, on the bright side - you seem to have added a slight twist to this poem. I'm not sure what it is for sure, but there's something that's kind of different about it. A little bit.

It was a sweet poem, I think is what my brain's trying to tell me. It was cute, and fluffy - if not a bit TOO fluffy - and it did a decent job at portraying emotion.

Unfortunately, the rhyming scheme made it seem forced and, honestly, childish-sounding. It sounds like yet another tragic teenage love story about how awful falling in love is, and how angsty the whole experience is.

I've seen far, far too much of those without rhyme-schemes, but the rhymes always seem to add a bit of cliche or plain cheesiness to the poem.

Allow me to explain this quickly: When you're trying to use a rhyme scheme, your mind is thinking of only words that rhyme. (No duh.) In other words, they're extremely limited as far as word choice and creativity go. It also tends to make you use words that don't fit, or cliche phrases all for the sake of making the poem rhyme. In all honesty, unless you're going to put a ton of thought into word choice and layout, rhyming in poetry shouldn't be attempted as a general rule. Which totally contradicts what you hear half the time about rhyming. But, okay. That's my opinion, and I think I'll stick to it. xD

But anyways, overall a good poem!

Keep writing,
~~Ish.

Hello!


I really enjoyed this poem! It feels like I am honestly inside your head. I think this is one of the best poems I have read in a long time. You honestly have a gift!

To love you is an art form,
To understand you takes time.
I can't forget the past,
That was meant to be yours and mine.

I love this part! It's so pure and honest!

Keep up the good work!
Kit Kat