Watched - Chapter 1

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There is a prologue, so don't be fooled by this being chapter one, previous happenings has occured :)

Hannah stood still in the doorway for a minute, looking after Molly.
“Hannah?” her mother called in a gentle voice, “you’ll be late.”
“I’m coming,” Hannah said and closed the door behind her, walking back into the kitchen. Her parents were both reading the paper now, hovering over it with sceptical, even scared looks on their faces.
“So what does it say?” asked Hannah, not really wanting to know but simply needing to.
“Lennie is in jail” said her father stiffly. Then he checked the time and walked out into the hallway, shrugging on his way, as if he could shake the news off. He left the room in an atmosphere of sickening fear. Hannah could feel some of the basis of her life slipping away under her feet, leaving her to find balance on her own. He was just about to leave when he poked his head into the doorway, “Amelia?” he asked, attempting to get Hannah’s mother’s attention.
“Charles?” she answered, not looking up from the paper.
“Are you going to the store today or am I? We’re out of milk,” Charles said, blinking at Hannah. She felt the dread and fear slowly seeping out of her. The normality of the question grabbed her mind, shaking it into a relaxed state. She started to hurry eating, not wanting to be late for her lecture. Amelia smiled at Charles.
“Would you mind going? I think there is a good chance I’ll be late in a meeting” she said.
“No problem,” Charles replied, grinning now, “You two have a good day, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Have a good day!” Hannah yelled over my shoulder to her mother as she hurried out the door. Her parents’ change of mood had made her giddy. Although she knew they were probably just doing it to make her feel better she still skipped down the street with a small smile on her face. She reached the bus by seconds, sprinting the last ten meters to catch it.
“Good morning,” the bus driver smiled at Hannah as she boarded, short of breath.
“Good morning,” she replied, smiling. She held her thumb against the monitor. Hannah Ellis Georges, April 02 2025, 08.34 am, bus 104: Edvald’s street. (Prvlct: Edvald’s street) Time and place for Hannah’s existence flashed up in the small screen and Hannah’s smile faded a little. She retrieved her hand and the information disappeared innocently from the screen, pretending to be gone. The bus started moving and Hannah walked clumsily on the unstable floor, sitting down on the first seat available. The city of Abergine flashed past the window and Hannah watched it gloomily. She was thinking about Lennie. She had only met her once, but it was enough to have her insides aching when she thought about how awful she must be. She had visited the hospital when Hannah’s brother, Jason, had fallen sick this winter.
“You’re such a wuss, Jason!” Lennie exclaimed when she came into his room. She was laughing. “Always staying tough, but the minute you get a fever you’re down? I can’t believe it!” she joked while hugging him. She turned to the rest of the room, “Hi, you must be Hannah and Molly, I’m Leanore,” she said brightly, shaking hands with me and Molly. Molly’s eyes were shining as Lennie treated her as an adult. “It’s so nice to meet you,” Molly’s small voice said in a serious manner. Lennie grinned, “And the same to you miss!” she replied before turning to my parents. “Charles, Amelia, how are you holding up?” Lennie almost whispered, walking over to them and shaking their hands’ in turn. They smiled weakly.
The doctor entered, and I watched as Lennie’s smile faded, worry taking its place. “I just got the tests back,” the doctor said, smiling, “You’ll be just fine in no time, Jason.”
Tears filled Lennie’s eyes and she sobbed through her smile.

“Abergine University” a mechanic voice said through the speakers, interrupting Hannah’s thoughts. She grabbed her bag and hurried out of the bus. Abergine University was a beautiful place. A great, grey building that so resembled the castles from children’s stories stood proudly behind s a great lawn. Abergine University was beautifully written in black paint above the entrance, giving the place prestige and a sense of greatness. The lawn was lined with red and yellow flowers and had little paths crossing it. Great oaks were placed in detailed and systematic harmony at the edges of the lawn and the student’s of Abergine were scattered about, taking in the first warm rays of light the sun had given away in months. Birds were singing and a warm wind was blowing around Hannah’s feet as she walked across the lawn, occasionally smiling when the students she knew caught her eye. She reached the entrance.
“Hey Hannah,” a voice said from behind her.
“Hey Noah,” she replied, smiling slightly as she held her thumb against one of the monitors by the great doors leading into the university. Hannah Ellis Georges, April 02 2025, 08.52 am, Abergine University. (Prvlct: Bus 104: Edvald’s street)
“How are you?” Noah asked, looking at Hannah with worried eyes as he held his own thumb to the monitor next to the one Hannah used. Noah Woods, April 02, 2025, 08.53 am, Abergine University. (Prvlct: Bus 106: Teether’s place)
“I’m good, better than Jason I suppose,” I answered as Noah’s information went away. The empty screen glinted in the sun and we started moving.
“Yeah I just talked to him, he’s furious,” Noah said while holding the door for Hannah as they entered through them.
“I bet,” Hannah mumbled, she turned to face Noah, “why did they take her?”
Noah bit his lip, “did you read the paper?” he asked, in a low voice.
“No, I didn’t have the time,” Hannah said.
“Well, it wouldn’t have made a difference either way if you did, it’s nothing but a web of lies stated in it anyway.” Noah’s voice was even lower now. He looked around; the hallway was packed with student’s rushing to reach their lectures, “Hey, I’ll talk to you at lunch, aight? Now get moving, you’ll be late,” he pushed Hannah gently forwards and she kept walking, entering and pushing through the crowd. She looked behind over her shoulder. Noah had turned around and was leaving.
“Noah!” Hannah yelled. He stopped and looked back at her, “aren’t you going to lectures?”
“No, I’m gonna find Jason,” he replied. He winked at Hannah and left, leaving her in the crowded hallway, wondering why Jason was dropping lectures. She was pushed back and forth by the moving students, hardly noticing.
Last edited by Idunn Sofie on Thu Apr 14, 2011 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I came to this world with nothing,
and I leave with nothing but love
Everything else is just borrowed.




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i loved reading this. Have you posted any of the other chapters. It's great, and it flows well. Keep up the good work! :)
YellowAeroplane




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Very, very nice. Having not read the prologue, I'm intrigued to read on and find out more! I have to say I love your descriptive prose, it's excellent at setting the location in my head, but also the mood of the piece really well. The mystery surrounding the events of Lennie's incarceration is well built up, and I like how you're introducing more questions at the end with Noah's unusual behaviour.

Idunn Sofie wrote:The bus started moving and Hannah walked clumsily on the unstable floor, sitting down on the first seat available.


This was the only thing I could see to change :D

I'll be sure to add the other chapters to my reading list!
Keep it up Sofie, love it :)
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