I’m from cornstalks,
Hay bails,
And cow pies.
I’m from the place that horses run free,
I’m from Wyoming.
The place that makes you forget all that’s making you crazy. The place where I can be myself. I come from love, peace, and kindness. I’m Macy Hartland, and I have a medium sized family. First is my mother Charlotte Hartland, she has short dark brown hair and she loves to cook in the kitchen, my favorite stew. My father William. My Eldest sister Molly Hartland she’s 20 she is very smart and she has strawberry blonde hair that shines in the sun beautifully. Then my second oldest sister Taylor Hartland she’s 17 and she is very pretty and popular she even has a boyfriend named Casey Evanston. Then my older brother Mike he’s 13 and he is only a year older than me. All this is just the beginning of something new, a new journey a new path of life.
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“hurry she’s coming” Taylor said franticly. “honey I’m hurrying but you can only decorate a cake so fast. Where’s Macy?” she said. Then Mike chimed in. “How should I know?” my Mom put the iced cake on the table. “Macy!” “Yeah Mom?” she looked at me. “she’s here!” she said. My heart started to pound. I took a peak out the window. Finally she’s back! Molly opened the brass doorknob turning it ever so slowly. She put her foot inside. “Surprise! Welcome home!” we yelled. “ Hi honey! Welcome home from collage!” my mom said cheerfully. “ hi Mom, Dad, Taylor, Mike, and Macy!” she smiled at me. Her smile was incredible her perfect straight teeth and her perfect lips. Even though Taylor is the perfect one. I saw Molly say to my mom that she was going to tell us tonight. Tell us what? That she finally got a boyfriend? Or that she’s getting married? Or maybe she’s moving back! We all sat down at the table. “so Molly how’s the big city of Chicago?” I asked. “Fine” she replied but it didn’t seem true. “well, I have some news….. I’m moving back here” she said. “Really!?!” I said cheerfully. Then I saw tears well up in her eye’s and I saw her look at my mom, she shook her head and said she couldn’t. “Kids your sister is moving back because she’s sick” Taylor looked at her. “ Really all this depression because you have a cold or fever?” my dad looked at us. “she has Cancer” I felt like I got shot in the gut, my heart started to pound then I stood up. “No! How can this happen! She’s fine!” then I spun around and looked at Molly. “Your fine right?” my voice got shaky. “RIGHT!” I burst into tears. Then I stood up again. Molly was crying. Taylor was still shocked, and you could see the faintest tears in Mike’s eyes. “Well then we could treat you! You can get healed!” I said. “No Macy I cant, I wont survive!” Molly said sternly. Then I opened the back door and ran. Then I spotted my horse. “Oh Blitz! Its horrible!” I was sobbing. Blitz was the finest of horses he was a pinto and he was very beautiful. We had a farm with cows, pigs, horses, and chickens. “Hey” I turned around. “Oh Molly its you” she looked at me. “You think I want this? You think I want to stop living?” she said. “No” I wiped away a tear. “Macy, please don’t do this” I looked at her with the corner of my eye. “Do what?” she put her hand on my shoulder, I could feel her hand cold and shaky. “that thing you do, when you just shut the world out like nothing matters!” I glanced at her. “Fine” she said, “ignore me” My Mom eventually called me in and I lied in bed restless. I opened bedroom door. Everyone was asleep. I tiptoed down the stairs that lead to a cold stone floor. I got in to the computer/ living room. Then I typed into the search box “Cancer research” Then I herd a crack. “Hello?” I whispered. “boo!” Mike whispered. Then he covered my mouth. “Geeze, You scared me” then he looked at me. “What are you doing?” Mike was looking at the screen. “Mike there must be something we can do!” “Fine, fine, fine. I guess your right there must be something” we searched for hours. Then I found a website, The title said Saving people with horses. “Mike look!” I jerked him. “what” “Look it says if you spend 15 minuets or more with a horse you can get healed…. Sort of. See these are some of the patients” I waited for a reply. “well may as well try right?” then we both went to bed.
). Overall, you have run-on sentences, and you don't follow basic grammar stuff like capitalizing the first letter in a sentence, indenting with each person that speaks, that stuff. Also, it's really rushed. I feel like your wrote this kinda fast, so slow it down and look over it really carefully.