purifing fire

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hello everyone thanks for takeing the time to read this id like to just let you know that i am dislexic and if there are any errors eg spelling mistakes gramer please tell me thank you.
the begging of the extract is a fight between our main charicter sharla (still needs a last name) fighting a hostile mage



A bolt of energy flew past sharla's face just inches away from her instinctively she ducked and clicked her fingers to produce a spark but she failed to produce a flame. Two more bolts were fired at her from the other mage one completely of target the other splintering the wall near her into two pieces. She panicked and rolled to the nearest piece of cover. She knew that she didn't have a chance arcane magic was more powerful than elemental
unless....

the other mage laughed mockingly at her “you cant hide for long” his voice seemed to reverberate from the dome's walls he placed his hand together and violently ripped them apart creating a tearing sound this motion seamed to electrify the air around him and a blue globe of energy seamed into existence in his hands. With a strange motion of his hands the ball flew into the wall were sharla was taking cover the wall exploded sending shards across the dome. As the smoke cleared sharla lay there the mage roared in triumph and moved down to inspect his foe he didn't notice the faint click behind him as he ran down the rubble and stone that scattered the worn battlefield he glanced the figure of his foes dead body but it lacked something.
Substance.
he realized in horror that he fell into a trap but it was to late it had been enough. He screamed out in pain as three fire balls had hit him square in the back his cloak was set alight the mage fell to the ground in pain as sharla willed the flames to extinguish she spoke a simple request “do you concede” the magician nodded as he whimpered and pushed himself away from her.

Sharla picked up her robe from the floor and threw it over her back she couldn't help but think smugly to herself elemental magic was week compared to the other schools the top being mind magic, arcane, and necromancy but it was the safest whilst there were strong spells and ability's in all schools each had drawbacks. Sharla had not taking the decision of training as a pyromancer lightly sure there was a lot of appeal to following the masses of magicians and becoming an arcane or even the elusiveness of necromancy but magic changed people, it affected your personality it lived with you!
are you dreaming? how can we be sure




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I was not impressed. I don't care if you are dyslexic, you can use Microsoft Word to eliminate many of your grammatical and spelling errors. The storyline wasn't bad, but the grammar and spelling took away from its glory and the full extent of the effect it could have on readers. I would however suggest that you explain what exactly a mage is in your author's note. Your writing isn't bad, but you need to work on grammar and if you haven't, proofread your post before you put it up. I fully believe that you have the capabilities to do so. If not, you may not get as many reviews as you would like. I would like you to make the corrections I have suggested and see if you get more reviews. I say this all constructively. If you need any additional help, you can PM me.

-Crescent

Spoiler
hello everyone thanks for takeing the time to read this id like to just let you know that i am dislexic and if there are any errors eg spelling mistakes gramer please tell me thank you.

*Hello (beginnings of sentences must be capitalized)
*taking
*I'd (I is ALWAYS capitalized and there must be an apostrophe between "I" and "d" because it is a contraction. It stands for "I would"
*I (is also capitalized
*dyslexic (spelling error)
*grammar

the begging of the extract is a fight between our main charicter sharla (still needs a last name) fighting a hostile mage

*The (same reason as hello)
*beginning (Your extract {excerpt?} is not begging)
*Sharla (Names of people are ALWAYS capitalized)
*Add period after "mage"

A bolt of energy flew past Sharla's face just inches away from her. Instinctively, she ducked and clicked her fingers to produce a spark but she failed to produce a flame. Two more bolts were fired at her from the other mage, one completely off target, the other splintering the wall near her into two pieces. She panicked and rolled to the nearest piece of cover. She knew that she didn't have a chance arcane magic was more powerful than elemental.
Unless....

The other mage laughed mockingly at her,You can't hide for long.His voice seemed to reverberate from the dome's walls. He placed his hands together and violently ripped them apart creating a tearing sound. This motion seemed to electrify the air around him and a blue globe of energy seemed (slightly redundant here, why not used the word "manifested"?) into existence in his hands. With a strange motion of his hands the ball flew into the wall where Sharla was taking cover. The wall exploded, sending shards across the dome. As the smoke cleared Sharla lay there. The mage roared in triumph and moved down to inspect his foe. He didn't notice the faint click behind him as he ran down the rubble and stone that scattered the worn battlefield. (Instead,)he glanced (at)the figure of his foe's dead body, but it lacked something.
Substance.
He realized in horror that he fell into a trap, but it was to late. It had been enough. He screamed out in pain as three fire balls had (Take this out!) hit him square in the back; his cloak was set alight.The mage fell to the ground in pain As Sharla willed the flames to extinguish, she spoke a simple request. “Do you concede?. The magician nodded as he whimpered and pushed himself away from her.

Sharla picked up her robe from the floor and threw it over her back. She couldn't help but think smugly to herself (that)elemental magic was weak compared to the other schools, the top being mind magic, arcane, and necromancy, but it was the safest whilst there were strong spells and abilities in all schools each had drawbacks. Sharla had not taken the decision of training as a pyromancer lightly. Sure, there was a lot of appeal to following the masses of magicians and becoming an arcane or even the elusiveness of necromancy, but magic changed people; it affected your personality. It lived with you!
Please take care to use good grammar when making a post!

"grammer" 1519 matches on YWS *twitches*

Rydia is the ruler of the world. :(



seagulls are bad sea chickens with no sense of humanity
— Kay (novembercrow)