A Friends letter

I wrote this poem after seeing someone in school I was really interested. I'd say hello if i could talk the language well enough and if he didn't always seem to have somewhere to go haha. If you have anything to say on how i could improve i'm open for ideas


I know I may stare
When you're standing there
But I feel you're different
That you're horrid au contraire

No one understands
They say you seem bland
But whatever, you know
I guess it's the way you stand

You tower over everyone
Seeming lean but not strong
You don't seem portuguese
Is this where you belong?

You don't need to worry
And I am so sorry
To be saying it this way
I understand your fury

But this is so complicated
As I had just stated
The curiosity inside
I had not wanted created

I've heard of your past
The deep sorrow you mask
Your poor brother in the race of life
He must have come last

But I'll always be here, you know
Through the rain and the snow
I'll always be here
For whenever you're feeling low

So if you need a friend
Or help round an icey bend
Just call me and I'll come
And our friendship'll never end

So here's my invitation
An opening, a salutation
The begining of a new friendship
The start of it's own creation

I like your concept, but as I have said several times today already, use imagery and make it shorter. It seems like you are droning on a little too much without making it emotional, so try to do that. You could write a sonnet for this - that could be really interesting. And since this boy seems to be quite mysterious and intriguing you could probable use many very imacting metaphors to make something very romantic and exciting out of this DO IT!!

Also, work on your rhythm - the last line of each stanza didn't quite seem to work with the flow. Watch that

Such a beautiful poem. you're so sweet to write this lovely poem dedicating it to a special friend in need of a good companionship.

haha, thanks guys. I'll try and do that on my next poem i make. I'm glad you liked it