Undone

Evil knocks on the door
Through the peep hole you see his grin
Scary and wide
Evil has nothing to hide.
You’re the only one that can see him,
You scream.
Evil chuckles his evil and cunning ways
For he know you’re the one he needs
To for fill his evil and cunning deeds. I believe you meant fulfill?
With nowhere to hide
You open the door
Standing strong all filled with pride.
Evil speaks to your mind
“Come with me do not put up a fight,
Or this shall be a long and agonizing night.”
You look into the wholes where Evils eyes should be wholes should be holes
Into the widows where is soul should lead.
It took you only that one mistake
To fall under Evils curse,
For now you’re Evils little puppet
You’re under his command.
For those who don’t know Evils eyes are his weapon
With them he sucks your soul
And makes you bleed
Until you’ve done his dirty deed.
You should have ran and hid inside
But instead you stood wrapped in a blanket of pride.
And now like all of Evils adopted sons
You’re bound to him
And this, my friend,
You’ll come to see
That the bond you share
Can never be

Undone.

And this, my friend,
You’ll come to see
That the bond you share
Can never be

Undone.

Cassie143 wrote:

Evil knocks on the door
Through the peep hole you see his grin
Scary and wide
Evil has nothing to hide.
You’re the only one that can see him,
You scream.
Evil chuckles his evil and cunning ways
For he know you’re the one he needs
To fulfill his evil and cunning deeds.
With nowhere to hide
You open the door
Standing strong all filled with pride. So you're standing 'strong' and filled with 'pride'? What about you screaming earlier? Have you suddenly found a reserve of strength?
Evil speaks to your mind I think it would read better if you changed 'to your' to simply 'in'.
“Come with me; do not put up a fight,
Or this shall be a long and agonizing night.”
You look into the holes where Evil's eyes should be
Into the widows where is soul should lead. 'is'?? Is that supposed to be 'his'? Or maybe change it to "Into the windows where a soul should be." Ah. I just noticed; you spelled "windows" wrong.
It took you only that one mistake
To fall under Evil's curse,
For now you’re Evil's little puppet
You’re under his command.
For those who don’t know, Evil's eyes are his weapon
With them he sucks your soul Maybe add 'out' in front of 'your'. Also, you could put a semi-colon at the end of the line, and take out the 'and' in the next. It will make it more powerful.
And makes you bleed
Until you’ve done his dirty deed.
You should have run and hid inside
But instead you stood wrapped in a blanket of pride. You could take out the 'but' in the line and the 'and' in the next....
And now like all of Evil's adopted sons
You’re bound to him
And this, my friend,
You’ll come to see
That the bond you share
Can never be

Undone. Sweet ending!