Lady Judy

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Well, say what you want/need to say about this- nicely.


PROLOGUE

Lady Judy kept walking in the middle of the forest towards her home. There were no instance that she got lost along the way. Although the forest was dark, and she always would come home before the dawn breaks, Lady Judy was still able to see the path toward her old bungalow that lies in a cleared area in the middle of the forest.
Her bungalow looked homey. It had a brown tiled roof, and a white-painted wooden walls. The window panes were clean, and the brown door had a golden door knob in it. Before she could climb the tiny mounted land toward her bungalow, she stopped walking.
"Why do you keep on following me?" she asked in a sultry voice. Although her voice was sultry, it intimidated the listener who stood meters away behind her.
He shook a little, but gulped, and realized that there was nothing to be afraid of, because she was just a woman, and he was a man.
"I want to see you, Lady Judy," he replied in his baritone voice.
The woman didn't turn around to look at him. They were silent for minutes. A cold wind blew, whispering to the man's ears that he should leave now. Thinking that it was just his imagination, the handsome hunter ignored it. The freezing wind chilled him, so he couldn't stop to hold the stems of the flowers tigher.
"Why? What do you want from me?" Lady Judy turned around to look at him at last. Her pale, porcelain face looked serious. Lady Judy's beauty was really alluring- tempting set of hazel brown eyes under long, dark eyelashes, and her bloody red lips in a perfect bow. Plus, her slim body, perfectly curved which looked so fragile. What made everyone easily knew that she was a prostitute was when they saw her smoke a stick of cigar, or walk around wearing a black, sexy dress with a string of big accessories, like pearls, around her neck.
"I-" he reached the flowers to her, "I want to give these to you."
She raised an eyebrow, and stared at the flowers in his hand. The full moon provided enough light from the sky, making it easy for them to see things through the darkness. Lady Judy took the flowers, and stared at them with observant eyes.
"Roses," she uttered in a low tone, "are supposed to have thorns."
"I removed them," the hunter replied instantly.
"Why?" her eyes met his. "Why take it away?"
Lady Judy looked at the flowers again. Their petals were as red as blood.
"So, their thorns won't hurt your beautiful fingers." The hunter took her other hand, and squeezed it gently with his warm hand. Lady Judy's hand was cold, and dead but the hunter ignored the sensation that he felt when he held it.
She pulled away her hand, and spoke, "Be direct to the point, Mr. Hunter. What do you really want?"
"I want you to be my girl, if you may."
"Why?" she smirked. "I'm a prostitute. Doesn't that disgust you, or challenge your masculine pride?"
He shook his head. "Virginity wasn't the reason why a man loves a woman."
"Oh," she said sarcastically, "so, you're in love, eh?"
"With you, Lady Judy."
"You don't know what you're saying."
"I know what I am saying."
She turned to walk towards her bungalow, and the hunter followed her.
"Lady Judy.."
"Just follow me. It's getting cold here, you know."
The hunter smirked when he heard her voice getting soft, and gentle, luring him to follow her. The pine trees swayed crazily as the cold wind passed by them.

Leave, do not follow,
Leave, do not follow, the wind cried.

Shh..
Shh..
Make sure she won't catch you,
Make sure she won't catch you, the trees seemed to warn him in a song as he passed by them, but the hunter didn't mind. Maybe, he was just too exhausted that he kept on hearing things that didn't really talk, nor sing.

Lady Judy stopped in front of the brown, wooden door. Her dark hair swayed as she turned to face him.
"Do you really love me?" she asked sweetly.
The hunter nodded his blond head that had wavy blond hairs on it. His blue eyes looked straight to her.
"I love you very much, Lady Judy."
She smirked again, but that didn't frighten the hunter. He thought it was natural with wild women, who were prostitutes, to smirk so everybody would find them dangerous, and sexy.
"Doesn't the rumors frighten you?" she asked as she fitted the key to the door knob.
"What rumors?"
"People say that I am from the witches, others say I''m a demon," she turned around to look in his blue eyes, "from hell."
The hunter chuckled, "They're just rumors. Hell is an ugly place, no beautiful creature like you would ever come from hell!"
She looked away to push the door open. "Come in," she said as she stepped inside the bungalow.
When the hunter got inside, the door automatically closed by itself. Since then, he felt mysterious about this place. His heart throbbed wildy, as if it was warning him to go away.
"Take a seat, please," Lady Judy said as she guided him toward the sofa near the fire place. He got curious how the fire place had a fire in it as they got inside the bungalow. It was very dark when Lady Judy opened the door, and it would take her some time to build a fire in it too. The hunter sat on the sofa, his boots sank on the soft, brown carpet.
"I'll be right back," she said when he sat on the sofa. As the hunter blinked his eyes, Lady Judy was gone.
I just want to have sex with this bitch, he thought as he stood up, but I gotta make sure that the rumors aren't true.
Over the fire place, he could see small, glass jars. The fire place was the only source of light, so he had to look closer to see what was inside one of the jars. It was filled with liquid where small things, millions of these small, white things, were swimming. They were too tiny to be tadpoles. On the next jar, he saw two round objects. Circular things with tails in it. He didn't recognize that they were a pair of eyeballs. As he looked at the last jar, his heart hammered. No one could never recognize what a beating heart looked like. He gasped, and looked up to see that above the fire place there was a portrait hanging there.
It was the picture of a demon, a scary creature with horns, fiery look in its eyes, and a 666 mark on its forehead. He didn't had any second thoughts, the hunter quickly turned to ran away. He stormed out of the door, not minding to close it.
The cold wind blew as he ran swiftly.

Faster, faster,
Run with me,
Faster, faster,
Escapee, the wind sang.

As he passed by the trees, they sang:

Stop running,
Try hiding,
Stop running,
Try hiding.

You stumble when you run,
You get caught when you run,
You get tired when you run,
Pray for your life..

Too much fear made the hunter thought that he was going mentally insane when he heard the singing voices.
"Stop singing in my head!" he screamed.

Shh,
Shh,
Keep your silence, sang the wind.

Shh,
Shh,
Keep your silence, sang the trees as they swayed.

"Stop!" he placed his hands on his ears as he continued running. His feet began to tire, making him run slower until he was only walking with his head, looking down.
When the wind stopped blowing, and the trees were not singing along with it, the hunter took away his hands from his ears. He stopped walking when he saw a pair of pale feet in front of him. Looking up, he saw her.
"L-Lady Judy?" his eyes widened. How could this woman find him easily?
She smiled, and looked so sweet, but it only triggered his fear. Lady Judy raised a rifle, and said, "Is this yours, young man?"
His heart kept on beating louder, as if it would come out of his chest.
"Is this yours?" her voice got scarier.
"Y-Yes.." he stammered.
"Just as I thought," she smirked. A blazing fire covered her body as she transformed into a creature that a mortal feared the most.
"So, it's.." the hunter trailed off when he felt that he was being cut into half. When the axe landed on his skull, blood trickled down in the middle of his forehead.

A horrified scream echoed throughout the forest, but the only sound that the people heard in the quiet town beside the forest was a satisfied howl from a wolf. After the howling noise heard in town, and the man's scream in the forest, silence covered the whole town, and the forest. A pair of bare feet walked back to the forest, dragging a lifeless body with her two hands. The one was in her left hand, and the other half of the body was pulled by her right hand.

We warned you,
We warned you,
But you didn't listen.

We warned you,
We warned you,
And you didn't listen, sang the trees.

The walking murderer heard their song, and her bloody red lips pulled out a smirk.

Fear could bring you to your deathbed,
So was too much bravery, sang the wind as it passed by the forest throughout the quiet, sleeping town nearby, as if the wind was warning every sleeping mortal with its song.

Fear could bring you to your deathbed,
So was too much bravery!
Every day is beautiful with a little arm stretch and a smile :)




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Hi again!

So I didn't realize that this was a prologue. I probably should've read this first. D: It definitely filled in some blanks, and I can make clearer some of my points in chapter one! But before I begun, I must say how much I adored the singing wind and trees. Those verses were freaking creepy. So perfect.

I only have a couple comments, really. Because I absolutely loved Lady Judy's character, so I don't have much to pick at! The first thing I want to mention is when they're in the house. If there are so many notably creepy things above the fireplace, surely there's a lot more everywhere else. And I think the fireplace would be able to illuminate more than just its top shelf. Surely there was something creepy outside of the house too?

Actually, now that I think about it, why was the hunter out at night? Isn't that a bad move? I would think there were even scarier, wilder animals out at night. And if he has no means of light, his chances of survival aren't very good, whether you have a rifle or not! Plus, he would never go out on his own at night. That would be even more dangerous. In case he got attacked by bears or wolves... or demons. The daytime would make more sense then, and he'd be able to see the creepiness that is her house!

Referring back to chapter 1, I don't think that backstory was really necessary at all! Since the prologue is all about Lady Judy (I totally just typed Ludy Jady.), Hans doesn't need to prove that he's been told stories. Just mention that there were rumors or whatever and briefly describe them. Anyway, back to the prologue.

So the latter half was freaking creepy and amazing. The only part that was odd was when she transformed right in front of his face into this huge ginormous creepy thing of extreme hellish darkness. All he said was, "Oh, it's you!" like a really pathetic drama student. xD

Student 1: *reveals face from behind mask*
Student 2: Oh, it's you! *faints*

Anyway. I think he'd be, like, crying for his life. Scrambling on to his feet and booking it in whatever way he can. Or he'd be so frozen stiff, you can mention the serious tension all over his body. Mention the sweat, the fear, the racing heart. Extreme hellish darkness. It is creepy.

That's all I found though! I still hold to what I said before: I'm interested! I hope you keep writing more. :D

Keep writing!

Jabber, the One and Only!

EDIT: Oh! I forgot to mention that I put a rating +16 here for the language later on plus the sex implication. :D
I make my own policies.



have u ever noticed how ugly rosy-lipped batfish r? and not like in the “aw ur so ugly ur cute” way that like opossums r — no they’re just hideously ugly beasts that should never have existed and r the epitome of evolution fails. the stupidity, blank look, head emptiness. they’re horrible n everyone who likes them r horrible too. they truly have the worst fan-base >:[
— Shady