Beautiful

This is the first poem I ever actually took seriously. Its may not make sense so constructive criticism is very much appreciated

The girl staring back at me
Was as pretty as she'll ever be.
She is beautiful
This now she knows.
She won't doubt, But she'll shout
About the One Who took it all away.
The pain inside has now subsided.
Now she knows,
She was created this way,
It will forever stay.
Everyone who see's her will say,
She is beautiful
Just as yesterday.

Hi, this is very lovely! Ok, there is just one thing, I'm kind of wondering if it's correct or not.

The pain inside has now subside...

I think it would be 'subsided' but that's what I believe.

There wasn't much wrong with this other than that one part. It's rather short, but the way you wrote it makes up for how short it is. I like this, it made my night. If you need anything else reviewed, please just let me know, I'd be more than happy to read anything you write.

~Forsakinshadow~

PS: This deserves a 'like'.

Hi,

I enjoed this very much. The only change I would consider making has already been noted. I just wanted to say, if this is the first poem you ever took seriously, I look forward to seeing what else you can do.

God Bless,
Amber

Hey, okay, well I’m just going to jump right in...I love it! The quote that has been debated about is correct, it doesn’t sound like it, but when I read it over a second time I realized it was. I do think you need a few lines after the first few lines but before the ending, just a little more detail, if you want to explain that last two lines which I believe are beautiful. Good luck! I can’t wait to read what you post next.

Oh yes i truly enjoy this poem hey dogs here just saying its, very simple, gets the point across, flows nicely. I dare say there is really nothing wrong with this poem. However, there is a massive amount of space for approvment, you can go so much farther with this poem.

It's one thing to write a poem about a beautiful girl and make it sound very nice, but it is an entirely different thing to expand upon it make it more poetic. In my opinion the best way to achieve this is threw metaphors, how a poet comes from being good to great is threw excellent comparisons. For example describe one of her features, for example: Her silver hair falls like fresh snow. Or maybe rain or something that appeals to you.

This is an awsome poem but always more room for approvment so KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!!!!!!




TuckEr EllsworTh