I Undress

Spoiler

I tend to use imperfect rhyming. I'm pretty aware of this by now. I hope even if you're not a fan of such poetry, you might still give this poem a chance. All critiques are welcome! I know this is far from perfect. Hope you enjoy.

Stumble into the cold bathroom,
distressed; tired from today.
My reflection stares down into me.
Fierce. Hard eyes give everything away.

I crumble into nothingness.
Lost. Withered. Wash away this day!
So wearied of lifes complexities.
Give me the strength to be okay.

Force off these constricting Levis.
My skinny jeans, they've molded me. 
Shrug off my favorite long sleeve.
The warmth of my days clothes soon leaves me.

A painted figure, of a dainty girl
now addresses me in the mirror.
You remove what hides you, but beneath your clothes,
you've also never felt more real.

Kick off my socks; they leave my feet,
I shiver from the bathroom floor.
My eyes don't leave you, mocking reflection.
As I stare deep into my solemn core. 

Wash away my troubles, I must.
Only after I undress.
Quiver from bare nothingness,
hidden feelings I repress.

Reach for the tired curtain.
Reveal my precious sanctum.
The shower switching rhythm.
Holding its steady anthem.

Step into the steamy drizzle.
Hoping to secure peace some day.
My thoughts slipping -- quickly fizzle.
Now on to washing my troubles away.

Stumble into the cold bathroom,
distressed; tired from today.
My reflection stares down into me.
Fierce. Hard eyes give everything away. Love this stanza! So much character and I can totally relate.

I crumble into nothingness. Meh, "crumbled" seems forced and out of place.
Lost. Withered. Wash away this day!
So wearied of lifes complexities. Life is possessive.
Give me the strength to be okay.

Force off these constricting Levis.
My skinny jeans, they've molded me.
Shrug off my favorite long sleeve.
The warmth of my days clothes soon leaves me. Day is possessive.

A painted figure, of a dainty girl
now adresses me in the mirror. I think "addresses" gives the wrong tone. It's spelt wrong btw.
You remove what hides you, but beneath your clothes,
you've also never felt more real. This sounds redundant, do you need the "but"?

Kick off my socks; they leave my feet,
I shiver from the bathroom floor.
My eyes don't leave you, mocking reflection.
As I stare deep into my solemn core.

Wash away my troubles, I must.
Only after I undress.
Shiver from bare nothingness, Too much "shivering", it's either repetition or redundancy. In this case it sounds redundant.
hidden feelings I repress.

Reach for the tired curtain. I like that, the curtain is tired too, haha.
Reveal my precious sanctum.
The shower switching rhythm.
Holding its steady anthem. Cool stanza overall, it made me imagine my bathroom as more welcoming.

Step into the steamy drizzle.
Hoping to secure peace some day.
My thoughts slipping --quickly fizzle. Add a space after "-" just to look clean.
Now on to washing my troubles away.

Great poem, I really liked it, despite my nitpicking. Sometimes I measure my life in showers, so I can relate to this poem. Just make it to the next shower, and everything will be fine. Great imagery and just a sort of fun poem. I know it sounds dark but something about it seems like dry humor to me. I don't know but I liked it.

So the comment above got the gramatical aspect of it all.
But I mainly just comment on how I like the work, because I'm not as good at grammar as others are.
So, I really like this! I love the rhyming and I love how you describe yourself and what you're feeling.
For instanse, how cold the bathroom is, and how you kick off your socks.
I also really like the word choice! It works perfectly and flows nicely!

I look forward to reading more of your work!

great job!

Hello. I am here to see what I can say about your lovely poem.

wearied of lifes complexities

you mean the complexities belonging to life, so you want to say life's complexities...

A painted figure, of a dainty girl

I don't think you need a comma there, but it could be one of those things that's up to you...
That's all I have to say about grammar. I thought you got your message through clearly. I could see everything that was happening. (which is good) I liked it.
Keep writing!

Hey There!
I wont spend any time on grammatical stuff, because the other's have already got it covered(:
I just want to say that i felt it was kinda rocky in some parts. I mean sometimes i could really feel what you were saying, and i could really empathize with you, but in other parts i got lost. The rhythym was messed up and i couldn't really understand how you went from one stanza to the next.
Overall though, i loved the main idea and a lot of the lines were very well stated, with great imagery and emotion.
Keep it up!

-PurpleHeart

Stumbling into the cold bathroom, ("Stumble" would rather be an imperative, if accompanied by no pronoun)
distressed; tired from today.
My reflection stares down into me.
Fierce. Hard eyes give everything away.

I crumble into nothingness.
Lost. Withered. Wash away this day!
So wearied of lifes complexities.
Give me the strength to be okay.

Force off these constricting Levis.
My skinny jeans, they've molded me.
Shrug off my favorite long sleeve.
The warmth of my days clothes soon leaves me.

A painted figure[no comma required here] of a dainty girl
now addresses to me in the mirror.
You remove what hides you, but beneath your clothes,
you've also never felt more real.

Kick off my socks; they leave my feet,
I shiver from the bathroom floor.
My eyes don't leave you, mocking reflection.
As I stare deep into my solemn core.

Wash away my troubles, I must.
Only after I undress.
Quiver from bare emptiness, (maybe use this word instead, because you've already used "nothingness"?)
hidden feelings I repress.

Reach for the tired curtain.
Reveal my precious sanctum.
The shower switching rhythm.
Holding its steady anthem.

Step into the steamy drizzle.
Hoping to secure peace some day.
My thoughts slipping -- quickly fizzle.
Now on to washing my troubles away.

I'd like to add that I've actually liked your rhyming pattern. The style also felt smooth, natural, not forced. You did a pretty awesome job here!:)

I enjoyed the poem. Thank you. In all honesty, I know not much else to say.

I really loved this piece. the comparison you have, as though life's trouble really could be washed away with a shower, is great. You had a lot of cool details in here, like the Levi jeans. And the line where you said the jeans had molded you was cool. All in all, I just really enjoyed how you made it all seem so simple, as if everyone stands in front of a mirror at night and feels their hidden feelings disappear with the clothes of the day. It was so beautifully done.
And I really liked the rhyme, I didn't find any spots that sounded too forced or didn't rhyme well enough.
You did have a few minor mistakes, mostly with missing apostrophes. Don't forget that if you are talking about something or someone owning something you need an apostrophe. You were missing a few of those.
As for spelling, as far as I saw you're good.
Overall, wonderfully done, I enjoyed this and can't wait to see some more of your work. this piece was beautiful, true and simple in a complex way? Haja, if that makes any sense at all. Don't have anything else to say, just keep writing.