Blood Red Moon

Spoiler

The flow is weird, but once you get used to it it's not so bad. I know it's a bit off, but I wrote it in only about ten minutes..

Thunder shakes
the green earth.
Lightning runs
in the gray sky.
Rain dances
on the road.
I sit still,
pen in hand.
How do I show
this dark beauty?

A dog howls
at the moon.
The wind whistles
through the trees.
Leaves rustle
a sleepy dance.
I sit still,
pen in hand.
How do I sing
this sad song?

Sudden silence:
out of place.
A new light
of odd colour.
The clouds part
to show the sky.
I look up,
pen in hand.
Can I portray
this strange sight?

A blood red moon.
An inspiration.

I loved you ironic phrase that you repeated (with variation)!

"How do I show
this dark beauty?"

Pretty cool subject overall, no mistakes in grammar/spelling. The couplet at the end is a bit odd to me. It obviously leaves behind the form in order to stand out but I'm not sure what it's saying. Is it that you are acknowledging that this moon is a new lure to poetry?

Short and sweet. I liked it. You had a couple of personified phrases which caught my eye. (thumbs up)

I would have to agree with inkwell on the last two fragments. Kind of odd. Maybe instead of A new inspiration you could have gone with something more like, A new beginning or An inspiration. It seems like the ending was sort of tact on.

Anywho, this by no means degrades this lovely little poem. For ten minutes of your time spent, I'm suprised!

Mother Earth would be proud.

Blood red moon, I like that. There's something very ominous about the way it sounds. I also liked the line you chose to reuse, "pen in hand". It flowed nice. I think that (in my opinion) when writing anything, particularly poetry though, it's best not to just spend ten minutes on it so easily and call it done. Spend a little more time working out the kinks. At least the ones you can spot yourself. This was good, but it probably could've been a lot better had you first taken the time to search through the imperfections. Nice work though. I liked it..

All in all I really enjoyed it. You were right, once you begin to read into it the flow sets in. The topic and the poem itself are amazing. I think you did a great job. I don't see anything I would correct. Great job! Keep writing!

-Liz