Avari- Polite Conversation

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Gray’s face seemed drawn, but his eyes smiled. “I have good news. My father agreed to send men to infiltrate the slavers’ camp.” He leaned against a column for a moment.

“Thank you, my friend. Now let me help you to your room.”
As I led him away, I realized this was the first time I’d touched a human and not felt afraid.

“Might you be Avari?”

Surprised, I turned to see a younger Ciana standing with her eyes downcast. “I heard you were here and wanted to meet you.” She turned, as if to leave.

“Wait.” I stood and walked in front of her. “What’s your name?”

“Liana,” she whispered.

She’s very shy for a clanner… I don’t recognize the scent. I gestured back towards the table, where I’d left breakfast half eaten. I didn’t care about protocols. “Liana, will you sit down, please.”

To my surprise, she did. A tiny smile curled her mouth.

“What clan did they take you from?”

"I'm sorry?"

“Don’t you know? I could help you return to them.”
Last edited by Stori on Tue May 03, 2011 8:03 pm, edited 3 times in total.




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This is very short. It's interesting enough to make me want to read more, but it seems unfinished. I'm not sure who these people are right now. I read your first chapter, but I still have no idea who they are or what's going on. Right now your story seems to be made up of mostly dialogue. Which is fine, I happen to like dialogue. But, I have no sense of the place they're in nor the time period. This is just a bunch of lines in my head right now. This still needs more filling out. Keep going though, I do want to know what's going on in this world. :D
Check these out please! :)
Alezrani
Will review for food thread




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Hi Stori. Lavvi in to review.

This is so short, it's hardly enough to review on. But I'll try.

Considering its shortness, we've managed to sneak in a sort-of plot idea/hint thing. It definitely makes me curious to find out more. The ending is not abrupt, as some might say. It's kind of finalized in way, though I recognize this might be jointed with another written work of yours.

And is the name Ciana or Liana? Or are they two different characters?

Yours,
Lavvi
this tender selfmetamorpoiesisi have returned with the swell

What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl




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That's a good question, Lav.

The Ciana are the race of feline people. It's supposed to have an accent on the I, but that will take some doing.



Forever is composed of nows.
— Emily Dickenson