The Person You Used To Be

A/N: I don't usually write poetry, and I know nothing about the 'rules' of writing it, so excuse this piece. The only time I've ever read anything about poetry is in my English book, and that chapter lasted about two pages. I wrote it on a whim, and I'm not sure if I like it or not, so constructive criticism would be appreciated. What this kind of symbolizes to me is how people lose there innocence. It's nothing compared to poems like 'Nothing Gold Can Stay', which kind of inspired it, but, I still hope you enjoy it.

You stand in front of me,
but I don't recognize the guy I used to see.
Your ever-present smile is missing,
images of sins, lies, and crimes lie in your eyes.
Who are you?

I came upon a whim,
hoping to find you here.
But this isn't really you, is it?
You've left to try and find something.
Who are you?

I blink back tears,
Of rage,
Of hope,
Of curiosity.
The innocence you used to hold is gone.
Who are you?

You've been gone for a while now.
The person you used to be is but a fading memory.
Though I can't help to pray for you to return,
To the person you used to be.

For a first poem it is actually pretty good. I remember my first was a variation of "Roses are red, Violets are blue." Anyway, the poem doesn't have that certain flow. Some lines are too long and others are too short (as you can see in the poem) and it doesn't have that rhythm many have. Also "lye" should be "lie." I think this would be better as a prose better than a poem, because you can emphasis more. However for a poem, it was very repetitive. You could use metaphors and stuff to show what happened. What did he do? I don't know, I'm not good at giving criticism to poetry. Good job anyway.

paperbackheart has a point. It's okay, I'm not good at poetry either. but the meaning was good and it was a good writing peice

Yup,I agree.It seems very good.I love it.Keep up the good work.