Catch the Moon

Catch the moon.
Reach for the stars.
Leap for a sunbeam in pools of darkness.
Your dreams can come true, if only you will try.
Do these special things before you die.
Parasail over a lake of cyrstal blue waters,
Ride a galloping horse through the rain.
Dance how you want, sing down a lane.
Make people doubt that you are sane.
Count your blessings, count every one.
Catch the moon, then you will be done.

I liked this It had a nice, happy-go-lucky feel to it, that is easy to relate to. The only verse that didn't quite fit was the 'leap for a sunbeam in pools of darkness', it made it go off track, and sounded like a different idea alltogether, but the rest was well done.

Good job

The rhythm varied because some lines would be left non-rhyming, and then suddenly 3 lines will rhyme at once.

Make people doubt that you are sane

This line made the poem not flow as easily.

Also crystal was spelt wrong.

But the poem itself had a good, uplifting feel to it. With nice imagery.

I agree, I also like the carefree nature of this poem. It seems choppy to me though. I disagee with Angel17 as I rather enjoy that line...to me, it's the "sing down a lane" that made that disrupted the flow of that section. The rest is easily fixable if you only spend a little time playing around with the words. Such as contracting "you will" to "you'll" in the fourth line or changing "these" to "those" in the fifth line. Overall I like this piece.

This is a very good poem. I liked it how as they said before you can kind of walk down the street and sing this. GREAT JOB!