Back Down to Earth

Back Down to Earth

To hope for heights,
Love without strain.
To fight this fight,
Love without pain.
I’m sure for light
One forsakes the rain

But I would rather bear it

For him she would,
Forget the world.
For him she should,
Let hope unfurl.
For him she could,
Let the heaven’s whirl

Though I’d rather hope for parting

As loves her dream,
Her ceaseless lift.
His heart, it seems,
Should never sift.
Their wants, their means,
Could never drift.

I’d rather die than stand it.

For I don’t fear,
The lose of light.
With my love near,
And our endless night.
His voice I’ll hear,
In our lack of flight.

It would be the perfect failure,
On our way back down to earth.

Okay, quick comment. I think you have a great sense of rhythm and rhyming, but you need to work on the fluidity of your work. I have the very same problem, and what helps me is reading it out to myself and seeingif it scans. Otherwise, great job.. I loved the structure. *Clicks like* Keep writing!

Hi there
Like Skorpionne I think you have a great sense of rhyming and rheum. This poem has a strong backbeat that flows all the way through it, so that was a key part of making this poem so enjoyable.

Also I like your use of italics during the stanzas. It lets it break of the usual four line stanza structure.

Thank you for your kind reviews! I will definitly try to work on my syllable count ;D

Nice rhyme scheme, I like the last two lines

I know this isn't much of a review, but I really liked it! Of course I'm still new to reviewing. I'm looking forward to reading more of your works!

Love it!very nice poem.Keep up the good work.