1st Of May
Eighteen days until my eighteenth birthday. The only suckish thing about that is that I’m six months pregnant almost, and due date is on the ninth of August. It seems so close and I am dying to tell you the sex, but David says it’s a secret.
Mum rang me (first time in weeks) and she said sorry for her behaviour on the night of the funeral. Then she said I should apologise for my behaviour to Grandmere. I said to her: “For one, I don’t have her stinking number and for two, our phone bill is ranked up to three-hundred pounds… and that’s because other people come to our house and use OUR phone to call people in FRANCE,”
It’s true. A few weeks ago, Harry came over to call Granddad because Derek was on the phone at home. All they basically did was talk about the Carnival that’s coming up. Then Harry went on about how his girlfriend is catching up with me in breast size. I was offended.
2nd Of May
I was ill all day today. I think I got food poisoning from what I ate last night. We went to this Chinese shop called Ruby Dragon and I had this lush curry, but after I was sick. Not cool.
David came in with some milk, but that made me puke even more. He wanted me to get better for the kids, but whatever he gave me made me sick. He doesn’t like it when people are ill. If he’s ill, that’s fine by him, but if someone he loves is ill, he panics and does whatever he can to make them better. That’s so sweet, I think.
4th Of May
My scan will be tomorrow, and I’m a right state. Very ill, I visited the doctor yesterday and he gave me some tablets to calm my sickness. He said I haven’t got food poisoning, just I must have ate something I shouldn’t have. I tried thinking, but I couldn’t remember what I ate that I’m allergic too, or don’t like.
Anyway, I’m in a state because I puked up this morning again when I thought I was better. Man, this sucks.
5th Of May
Mum came over today in the morning because she heard I wasn’t well. She came over with chocolates, then it struck to me. Chocolates! I’m allergic to white chocolate. I don’t know why, but since I was thirteen, I got so ill if I ate white chocolates. I had some four days ago when Harry gave me some of his left overs from the funeral (they were out of date, too).
I went for my six month scan, and the woman said both a content and I am in perfect shape. She says from the day they both start moving it will pretty much happen all the time. I was so bummed by that, because it’s going to be so uncomfortable.
8th Of May
Me and David went to the pregnancy and birth sessions at the leisure centre yesterday.
It’s actually really good, seeing as I will be clueless on what to do when the twins come. They shown us how to do breathing and movement when we’re in labour. I found it very handy, but lightheaded too. This breathing thing is going to make me pass out. David seems to be very calm about the whole birth thing, he’s read all the books about birth and how to look after your twins, I haven’t even got to month eight yet. So I’d better get cracking.
9th Of May
We went to the pregnancy and birth sessions today again, because it was how to do the basics with the newborn. Everybody had one of those baby born dolls, but in our case we had two (one was Asian because they ran out of European dolls) and we had to change the diaper. It was easy considering there wasn’t any green poop in it. David was a pro, me on the other hand, did not so good. I put it on backwards then I realised it after the woman came to check.
Then we went on to bathing. We had to hold the baby’s head and wash at the same time. It was stressful because I couldn’t open the body wash with one hand, so I cheated and let the baby slip. Obviously I wouldn’t do that with my real baby. Then we moved onto feeding. I wanted to breast feed, but the woman next to me actually got her boob OUT and shown the woman running the place and asked if she should breastfeed because of having five kids already. I agreed with David I was too young to do that, for a long time.
11th Of May
Only seven more days until my birthday! I’m so excited, but nervous at the same time, mainly because of what David is planning.
Mum wants to take me out for lunch, so that’s booked up, but David keeps smirking to me like he’s planning something.
First, he asked me what I would like. I said a necklace would do. He measured my neck, but then my feet too. I was just a bit shocked because that is not a way to measure feet for a start. Then I heard him talking to my Mum and Harry over the phone. Each day I’m getting more and more suspicious.
15th Of May
Three more days! So excited. Here are more things that David has gotten up to:
He was talking to this guy called Brad about cocktails and shoes. Then they started talking about wheels. Which is strange.
He’s bought me shoes! And a diamond encrusted necklace with a love heart and a verse on the back. Okay, I peeped, I didn’t read the verse, because he walked in while I was gazing at the beautiful diamonds.
“You like Coldplay, don’t you?” Oh my god. He’s known for ages and he can’t remember if I like Coldplay or not? I love them!
“Yes, they’re my fave band of all time,” I gasped.
“Brill.” He yawned, walking out looking at a magazine. Weird…
17th Of May
Mum called, and I asked her what is going on. She said nothing, but I don’t believe her.
Now I am freaking out, David is acting so strange. I’m not allowed to talk to Harry, Derek or any of my friends. I don’t know why. I’m so excited. At least when my twins are born, I’ll be eighteen.
18th Of May
David is so sweet. He came up at nine in the morning, with a tray of cereal and juice and two wrapped up presents. They were wrapped in gold foil paper and I loved how it glistened in the morning sun.
They were just as I thought. A pair of gorgeous Gucci shoes, a sparkly ruby red handbag and a necklace. I loved them, and the verse read:
You are my one and only star,
Wherever you go,
I follow,
You are the cherry of my life,
From David xxx
I love it! I never even ate. Because 1) I was feeling to hyper to eat and 2) the twins are bugging me so I’m going out for a quick walk.
I got changed when I got back from the walk into my frilly white dress, whipped on some of my eyeliner and mascara and put on my new cream stilettos.
I had to meet Mum for dinner and when I did, she had one measly card. A card. That’s it. Pathetic, I know. She was probably still mad with me. I hate her, sometimes.
Anyway, she got me a card and when I opened it, twenty pounds came flying out and so did a gift card. I didn’t have a clue what Snippy Styles was, but it sounded good.
Apparently, it’s a hair and beauty salon and Mum got me it because she said I needed a bit of pampering. Right o’. Pampering? Me? It’s about time.
Mum says she needs to take me to some city hall place where we’re going to do bingo. This is shit, it’s my eighteenth birthday and my Mum is taking me to do bloody bingo. I was fuming, until I walked in: there was lights hanging up around the marble walls, the stage had a drum set and microphones up and when I walked in everybody jumped up and yelled surprise! I was so happy. And David was behind all this.
“I have to show you something, babe,” he said, taking me outside. I was wondering what it was, then big bangs and flashes of colour went off. (By this time it was eight thirty and dark). Then, once the fireworks calmed down, David got down on one knee and said those words that make me blush.
“Jessica Alicia Reynolds… Will you marry me?” he asked, holding up a silver ring that glistened as the quieter fireworks went off.
Everybody turned, gasping and smiling. It was obvious he planned this by himself.
“Yes!” I cried, wrapping my arms around his neck. I could feel one of his hands on my stomach. The fireworks went off even more and I was as happy as I could be.
Then I had this strange sharp pain in my stomach. I let out a scream and collapsed on the floor. Next thing I knew was I was in hospital with a guy doing something really weird.
“You have braxton hicks,” explained the doctor, “it’s completely normal. But because your twenty-five weeks pregnant, I would say it’s safe to take these until the pain gets lighter,” he passed me a pack of tablets.
“Thank you, very much, doc,” David sighed, rubbing my arm up and down.
“Your welcome,” he said.
What a great way to celebrate you birthday and engagement, eh?
20th Of May
I looked up braxton hicks on the internet; it said that it’s just to prepare you for birth. Oh great, just what I need. An early pair of twins. I’m not that prepared to be honest!
When David proposed, it was so sweet. But tonight, we’re doing it again somewhere more classier than a city hall. He’s taking me to The State Of Mind, which is extremely expensive and extremely posh. I’m going to have to dig out my more prettier deep sea blue boob tube dress.
Dinner was fabby! We are officially engaged! It was so nice, I know it was kind of expected, but who cares?!
He spent so much on the ring, like four hundred pounds, so to pay him back, I gave him a car. Yes, a car. While he was sneaking around me planning everything, I was doing the same. And boy did he scream like a girl. It was one that he had his eye on for months, a shiny red colour with four doors (which is nice for when the twins come) and it smelt of those nice new cars you get.
Anyways, he loved it and he thought I bought it, with my money! Pha! Me? Never! Mum got it for us, her special engagement present, I can’t wait to see our wedding present!
22nd Of May
We haven’t got a set date for the wedding yet, mainly because of the ninth of August (the twins birth) and because of us spending so much on them, we need time.
Being this pregnant makes me tired, so I did absolutely nothing all day. I stayed in my pyjamas and watched four episodes of Jeremy Kyle. I love his shows.
David went and got take out for dinner, so I feel fat and I really need to pee, so I’ll be back…
The twins seem to think my bladder is a squeeze toy. It’s a pain and there is so many things that make me feel gross.
1) The babies kicking and moving about.
2) Measuring myself each day, looking at how big I’m getting.
3) Weighing myself each day. Fourteen and a half stone!!! Is that even normal??
4) Eating so much crap (take outs, pizza, fish and chips). No wonder I’m broke.
5) I’m all spent out and David isn’t getting paid until next week, so we can’t go anywhere.
Note to self: Don’t get pregnant again in a long time from now.
23rd Of May
Mum wanted me to visit urgently today. She rang at eleven in the morning, ordering me to get dressed (she’s got the idea I’m never ready by eleven) and look descent and come round to her place ASAP. I don’t know what is up, but all I know is she sounded excited and I could tell by the noise in the background there was at least seven people there. Okay, now I’m stumped.
Turns out, she planned another birthday party for me, as my other didn’t turn out to well. It was nice, but she didn’t exactly have a full house like last time. Catherine, Bex, Kelsey, Miranda and Carly and her ‘posy’ were there so I was pleased. When me and Carly went to different universities, she made new friends and let me tell you: they’re not the sharpest tools in the box.
Macey is the tallest, but that’s because she wears platform heals all the time. She’s almost as orange as a tangerine and her boobs are obviously fake. Ana is the one who uses the most make-up, her eyelashes are just as long as her hair extensions and the amount of eyeliner she uses is astonishing. Carly also hangs around with Louis, a blonde gay guy who once flirted with David. I’m not going to tell you what I did to him, but let’s just say he couldn’t get the chocolate milkshake out of his hair for a week.
“You look… weird. What have you eaten?” the other girl, Aimy, spluttered. Her violet hair falling in her dark tanned face.
“Twins,” I simply said. You know I haven’t eaten twins, she’s so dumb she’ll fool for anything. Don’t even ask how they got into university in the first place. There is an unknown world out there.
25th Of May
Since me and David have nothing else to do, seeing as we are both broke, we decided to dig out my favourite board games: Cluedo, Scrabble and one of my personal favourites Jenga.
We started playing at eleven thirty (I managed to change into my lose trackies and vest top). We then continued playing Cluedo until one, when I started to get cranky and ate a bacon sandwich then we carried on playing Cluedo. That lasted until twenty-five past. We got bored and started playing Jenga. Then Bex came round with her boys, Hayden and Nathaniel. They trashed our Jenga game and ate the crusts of David’s sandwich. They then attacked my TV remote and Bex decided to return home. Of course taking her terrors with her.
Please, God, let our kids be little angels.
Seeing as David was a nightmare when he was a kid, same for me, there will be a fat chance of them being little goody two shoes.
