The morning show

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 4
The birds chirp above my head,
Singing songs for all to hear,
Flying across the orange sky,
A 'V' formation way up high,
Flying beautys slice the air,
Ever so slowly and ever so lightly,
The gliding figures swoop in the air,
Then before they know it they are gone,
The wondrous show at the crack of dawn,
The birds have little reason to know,
That in fact they are the show
Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, but you know they're always there.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1172
Reviews 10
:0 That Was Amazing! I Got Lost At
Flying beautys slice the air,
Ever so slowly and ever so lightly,
The gliding figures swoop in the air,


But Overall Just Great. I Live Near The Beach So I Can See It In My Head With Seagulls As The Birds. :D

~Xiahou Zay
Reality Is A Lovely Place, But I Wouldn't Want To Live There.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6975
Reviews 125
Very cute poem! I liked the story, and I really loved the ending. I thought it really tied everything together. Great work!

Theres only one grammatical error that I found:

Flying beautys slice the air,
It should be spelt: beauties
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D



Your hesitation suggests you are trying to protect my feelings. However, since I have none, I would prefer you to be honest. An artist's growth depends upon accurate feedback.
— LCDR Data