Despair

I laugh and I cry
I love and I hate
I give and I want
I am like you
But why am I suffering?
why am I still hurting?
I lie here bleeding
I cry and shriek
as pain cuts through me
as the steady rhythm of my heart wavers
and I whimper in agony
I wander through the dark streets
enveloped in the dull gray clouds of reality
I cannot dwell on hopes
I cannot see the light anymore
an eternal darkness
is all I see in my past
and all I have left for the future
pain, anguish and despair.

Hi there! I'm The.Dreamwalker and I'm here to review your piece today!

I laugh and I cry <--- comma or semi-colon
I love and I hate <--- Comma or semi-colon
I give and I want <--- Comma or semi-colon
I am like you <--- interesting way of starting a poem. A little childish in the vocabulary. Maybe formulate stanza's as well. Here, for instance, would be the perfect place for a break. That and this should end with a period.
But why am I suffering?
why am I still hurting? <--- all lines should start with a capital
I lie here bleeding <--- Semicolon would work here
I cry and shriek <--- comma
as pain cuts through me <--- comma and capitalization
as the steady rhythm of my heart wavers <-- comma and capitalization
and I whimper in agony <-- period and capitalization
I wander through the dark streets <-- comma
enveloped in the dull gray clouds of reality <--- capitalization and period
I cannot dwell on hopes <--- period
I cannot see the light anymore <--- semicolon
an eternal darkness <--- capital here and comma
is all I see in my past <--- Capital and comma
and all I have left for the future <---- comma and capital
pain, anguish and despair.<--- capital.

Overall:

Simple. This piece was full of anguish that is the usual inspiration for a dramatic poem (though not always the best inspiration), but it did give the appearance of melodrama and teenage angst. For that, this piece seemed very childish. Try giving this poem something more than just raw emotion. Its hard to tell where you're coming from when all it is is 'sorrow, woe is me, sorrow'.

Other than that, you have a very strong voice. It's just important that you should try and refine that voice into something poetic. If not, try short stories. It might be a better channel for that passionate voice of yours!

Sorry if that was harsh
~The.Dreamwalker

Overall I like this poem, it is dramatic and I love the words in it. But, it should have more descriptions of the pain you feel and why you feel it. I like it, though.