I Fell Into the Fire

Hey everyone! I hope you like this poem - it's one I've been writing for a little while but I still can't figure out how to end it! Suggestions of any shape or form will be greatly appreciated! Thanks guys

I fell into the fire
As the flames grew higher
There, I was caught
In an impossible knot
I had no strength remaining
Of energy I was draining
And I felt myself fading
Away.

Into the dust, over the flame
My soul journeyed 'til at length it came
To the precipice of eternity, an entrance to the light
Soon, at long last, the end was in sight.

On the cliff edge I pondered my life
Devoid of war, death or strife
Though nor was it happy, and I thought as I fell
Where do I belong, in heaven or in hell?
Or was it simply to early to know
Whether or not it was my time to go

Darkness came to claim me, but I fought with all my might
Plummeting down to earth, soaring through the light
There I awoke with quite a start
With sweaty palms and a thudding heart
This strange adventure that near took my life

......................................................?

Any help as to how I could end this? Anyway, thanks, hope you enjoyed this

Your lines seen quite too much rhymed which makes it sound juevinile....anyway gud try

I liked it! I'm trying to figure out how long it took you to write this because I can see the effort you put into it. Good job on the overall delivery of the story! :)

I enjoyed the poem, but maybe you don't have to continue rhymeing.

If you took the last line you have written, and put that into a new stanza, it would make it easier on yourself. If you have it where on the last stanza it didn't rhyme, you'd be sending a message.
It'd be as if your saying that after the dream the person changed, they don't live by the strict rules anymore, which could be represented by the rhymeing. You would use it to show an inner meaning, using the words to your advantage to prove a point.

It was a good poem, but if you really want to end it, there's a possible way, that's what i would do anyway

Some of the greatest poems in history don't rhyme at all, many times rhyming limits the poem, and I think your attempt to rhyme every line here drags down a poem with some great imagery and ideas---

this line is exactly what I'm talking about---

"To the precipice of eternity, an entrance (in)to the light
Soon, at long last, the end was in sight."

The first line is excellent, the image of the precipice of eternity and an entrance into light itself is very compelling and powerful, and the commas are well used in both lines, but the halfway attempt at a rhyming couplet limits your prospects because only a certain number of words can rhyme, so you have to limit yourself to lines with those words, which then limits the modifiers and the punctuation that you can use, this is what I would do---

"I was lost on the outskirts of all I had known"

Not very strong on my part either...


3 stars out of 5 keep on keeping on

I thought this was nice, and the rhyming was good, in contrast to my non-rhyming lines I come up with. I do hope you will keep writing pieces like this. I really liked it.

i really like your poem,,, but i don't really think the title goes with it. i mean, maybe in the beginning, but after it kind of goes astray. as for the ending, i think it's just fine as it is