Intervention

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***Please note, this story may not appeal to everyone, reader beware.***


Only one light pierced the darkness of Oakland Avenue that night. It's sickly yellow glow was like a lighthouse beacon.

We must move closer, we cannot see much, only one car, a beaten up old ford with flaking paint and bald tyres in the driveway of the house we attend to visit. We step across the road, not caring if a car was coming the other way, we're like insects drawn to light, oblivious to everything else. Except the cold, perhaps it's to cold to be out walking. Our teeth chatter and we yearn to be home in bed snuggled up with the one we love the most. Our breath is like smoke in cold night air. Move closer c'mon, perhaps the light will have warmth....Reached the window, finally! What's inside? What story does it hold for our ever curious mind? We squint, the light is blinding. We now fully understand the term, "Blind as a bat." We blink, our vision clears. We then see a young and very pretty girl. She has black hair with a little red bow woven into it. So beautiful. She sits at the table, she looks like she's waiting. But waiting for who? Let's us watch.

Hannah flicks her black hair lazily back and forth. With the other hand she reaches up and strokes her red bow atop her head. Hannah's gazes out the window, for a moment she thought she saw dozens of little faces peering back at her. She blinked and they were gone. C'mon Hannah your losing it girl. She thought to herself. A rye smile appeared on her lips. Her teeth were white and sparkly like polished pearls. And her deep black eyes were like two shiny river pebbles sparkling in contrast to her the surroundings. A small room with aromas that Hannah didn't even want to comprehend. The smell made her feel slightly woozy like she had to much to drink before been dropped off by her dad. Her Dad's best friend was an avid golfer and my didn't it show. Golf clubs hung every where around the room, like little trophies of achievement.

A door hinge squeaked, Hannah jerked her head up.

"Oh, didn't mean to startle you." The man said as he entered the room. He was wearing big oval rimmed glasses and a tight turtle necked sweater.

"Oh, you didn't Jason. Just really quiet and it was a bit strange to hear noise that's all.." Hannah lied, she had indeed been startled.

Jason continued to beam back at Hannah lapping up her lie. There was thin bead of sweat on his fore head. His comb over, which was usually so trim and perfect, was a tangled mess as if he had just touched a VanDerGraph generator.

Jason saw Hannah looking and immediately smiled and raised his hand to pat over his hair.

"In a few years you may lose your hair, then I'd be the one to stare if that ever happened." He pointed a chubby finger at Hannah and flashed a toothy smile once again.

Hannah looked away and turned her gaze toward the window. She felt uncomfortable, she was a 17 year old girl. This was fun 10 years ago but she was to old for a baby sitter. Especially a sex starved man like Jason. Numerous times she had caught Jason looking at her when he thought she was not looking at him.

"Ah, C'mon Hannah can't you have a little fun?"Jason insisted moving closer to her as he spoke.

Hannah didn't meet his gaze, but continued to look wearily out the window.

In a robotic voice she said, "I'm going to bed, see you in the morning."

Jason only stared at her, stared through her. His fist was curled.

Tightly lipped Jason spoke up, "You still a virgin Hannah?"

Hannah felt a cold wave of anger wash over her. "I don't think that's very appropriate Jason." And with that she slowly turned and stared coolly into Jason weasel like face.

Jason's eyes dropped, "Sorry Hannah, it won't happen again, people grown up so fast." There was a pause, he sighed and walked out of the room. There was click as he closed the door behind him.

Hannah watched him go. There were dark patches under both of his arm pits.

Hannah lifted herself off the chair, her knees popped like toy pistol shots and the sound bounced around the confines of the small room.

She turned, and walked toward the other door presumably heading towards the bed room.

We take all this in with wide, puppy dog eyes. That man is strange. We doubt a lot if the girl saw the way his hungry eyes crawled all over her body as she looked other way. And how his face changed when she turned back, and when he spoke. We could tell that it was a lie. We are afraid for the girl. We try to warn her, but we are only spectators to this drama that is unfolding before us. We cannot see the girl, but we'll wait.

Hannah closed the door to her room. No lock, there was never a lock. Hannah thought miserably. The room in which she had spent the majority of 6 months in (when her mother was stuck down with cancer) wasn't the same.

She hadn't been in here for at least 2 months but everything felt different. With sour distaste she began to undress. Throwing first her jeans, then her top onto the floor beneath her feet. Her black bra and panties matched her hair perfectly. You'll make a man very happy one day sugar plum. The voice of her mother echoed in her mind.

We see the balding old man from the window, he sneakily walks through the kitchen. And we know where his going. We have to do something? To distract him? But what? We must think...

Suddenly, the door slowly came un-latched. This one didn't squeak thankfully. Hannah spun around quickly as if stung.

A voice crooned. "Oh, don't turn around I like you from that side." Jason stepped quickly into the room and closed the door behind him all in one smooth motion. He had a sickening grin on his face, one of lust and sexual appreciation.

"Leave me alone Jason." Hannah said defiantly. And pushed him back.

"Shut up bitch, I've cared for you. I've virtually been your god damn dad." Jason said, spittle flying uncontrollably from his mouth. He raised his arms in hugging gesture and spoke.

"Give your old friend a hug Hannah and maybe I'll give you something back. You know, bit of tit for tat?" He flung back his head and laughed at his own crude joke.

Jason stopped abruptly. There was a a violent crash and smash, the sound of windows being broken.

"What the hell's that?" Jason said and awkwardly waddled out of the room toward the front door.

Hannah didn't take any time to jump into motion. She ran out of the room like a jack rabbit out of a bolt hole. Her heart was hammering in her chest like a drum. Have to get out of here, back door and over the fence. No time to second guess she went for it.

There was a roar of range coming from the front driveway. "Bastards!" Jason yelled. This was closely followed by a audible bang! As something was thrown into the darkness.

Hannah didn't stop, the front door slammed and she could hear him tromping through the kitchen like a drunk coming home from the pub, he was heading back to the room. Hoping to relieve his anger in any way possible.

Hannah reached the back door, she grasped the knob and twisted. Cold air embraced her body, her near naked flesh was instantly covered in goose bumps.

There was another roar, this time from the bed room.

Jason half pleaded, half yelled, "Where are you bitch, I have something for you! You'll come to like it in time."

Hannah ran to the short fence that marked the end of Jason's house. She leaped over. She hit the ground running and was sprinting to the neighbors door. She hammered on the door. "Please anybody home?"

A dog barked.

Our ears are pricked up listening to it all. We also see from our vantage point from across the street a second light flick on, a wave of relief washes over us. She's safe we say to each other. We look down at where the crazy man had hit us on the leg with garden gnome when he saw what we had done to his car's windows. It was a shit car anyway. We all knew that. There are lots of dog's barking now, and more yellow lights are coming to life. We did good we say to our self. We walk down the street, away from the pretty girl with the red ribbon in her hair. Hands in our pockets, we whistle a merry tune. Time to go home.
"There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering." Cato




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Hey, Truth here for a review :)

PS: All my comments and corrections are made as I read and are only suggestions. You are the master :P
tommyknocker wrote:***Please note, this story may not appeal to everyone, reader beware.***


Only one light pierced the darkness of Oakland Avenue that night. It's sickly yellow glow was like a lighthouse beacon.

We must move closer, we cannot see much, only one car, a beaten up old ford with flaking paint and bald #FF0000 ">tires in the driveway of the house we attend to visit. We step across the road, not caring if a car was coming the other way, we're like insects drawn to light, oblivious to everything else. Except the cold, perhaps it's #FF0000 ">too cold to be out walking. Our teeth chatter and we yearn to be home#FF0000 ">, comma in bed snuggled up with the one we love the most. Our breath is like smoke in cold night air. Move closer#FF0000 ">, comma c'mon, perhaps the light will have warmth....Reached the window, finally! What's inside? What story does it hold for our ever curious mind? We squint, the light is blinding. We now fully understand the term, "Blind as a bat." We blink, our vision clears. We then see a young and very pretty girl. She has black hair with a little red bow woven into it. So beautiful. She sits at the table, she looks like she's waiting. But waiting for who? Let#FF0000 ">'s us watch.

Hannah flicks her black hair lazily back and forth. With the other hand#FF0000 ">, comma she reaches up and strokes her red bow#FF0000 ">, resting atop her head. Hannah#FF0000 ">'s gazes out the window, for a moment she thought she saw dozens of little faces peering back at her. She blinked and they were gone. C'mon Hannah your losing it#FF0000 ">, comma girl. She thought to herself. A rye smile appeared on her lips. Her teeth were white and sparkly like polished pearls#FF0000 ">, comma her deep black eyes #FF0000 ">were like two shiny river pebbles#FF0000 ">, comma sparkling in contrast to her the surroundings. A small room with aromas that Hannah didn't even want to comprehend. The smell made her feel slightly woozy#FF0000 ">, comma like she had to much to drink before #FF0000 ">being dropped off by her dad. Her Dad's best friend was an avid golfer and#FF0000 ">, comma my didn't it show. Golf clubs hung every where around the room, like little trophies of achievement.

A door hinge squeaked, Hannah jerked her head up.

"Oh, didn't mean to startle you." The man said as he entered the room. He was wearing big oval rimmed glasses and a tight #FF0000 ">turtleneck sweater.

"Oh, you didn't#FF0000 ">, comma Jason. #FF0000 ">It's just really quiet and it was a bit strange to hear noise#FF0000 ">, comma that's all.." Hannah lied, she had indeed been startled.

Jason continued to beam back at Hannah lapping up her lie. There was thin bead#FF0000 ">s of sweat on his #FF0000 ">forehead. His comb over, which was usually so trim and perfect, was a tangled mess as if he had just touched a VanDerGraph generator.

Jason saw Hannah looking and immediately smiled and raised his hand to pat over his hair.

"In a few years you may lose your hair, then I'd be the one to stare if that ever happened." He pointed a chubby finger at Hannah and flashed a toothy smile once again.

Hannah looked away and turned her gaze toward the window. She felt uncomfortable#FF0000 ">, as she was a 17 year old girl #FF0000 ">and it might have been fun #FF0000 ">This was fun 10 years ago but she was to old for a baby sitter. Especially a sex starved man like Jason. Numerous times#FF0000 ">, comma she had caught Jason looking at her when he thought she was not looking at him.

"Ah, C'mon Hannah can't you have a little fun?"Jason insisted#FF0000 ">, comma moving closer to her as he spoke.

Hannah didn't meet his gaze, but continued to look wearily out the window.

In a robotic voice she said, "I'm going to bed, see you in the morning."

Jason only stared at her, stared through her. His fist was curled.

Tightly lipped#FF0000 ">, comma Jason spoke up, "You still a virgin#FF0000 ">, comma Hannah?"

Hannah felt a cold wave of anger wash over her#FF0000 ">, comma "I don't think that's very appropriate Jason." And with that#FF0000 ">, comma she slowly turned and stared coolly into Jason #BF0000 ">weasel-like face.

Jason's eyes dropped, "Sorry Hannah, it won't happen again, people grown up so fast." There was a pause, he sighed and walked out of the room. There was click as he closed the door behind him.

Hannah watched him go. There were dark patches under both of his arm pits.

Hannah lifted herself off the chair, her knees popped like toy pistol shots and the sound bounced around the confines of the small room.

She turned, and walked toward the other door presumably heading towards the #FF0000 ">bedroom.

We take all this in with wide, puppy dog eyes. That man is strange. We doubt a lot if the girl saw the way his hungry eyes crawled all over her body as she looked #FF0000 ">the other way. And how his face changed when she turned back, and when he spoke. We #FF0000 ">can tell that it was a lie. We are afraid for the girl. We try to warn her, but we are only spectators to this drama that is unfolding before us. We cannot see the girl, but we'll wait.

Hannah closed the door to her room. No lock, there was never a lock#FF0000 ">, comma Hannah thought miserably. The room in which she had spent the majority of 6 months in (when her mother was stuck down with cancer) wasn't the same.

She hadn't been in here for at least 2 months but everything felt different. With sour distaste#FF0000 ">, comma she began to undress. Throwing first her jeans, then her top#FF0000 ">, comma onto the floor beneath her feet. Her black bra and panties matched her hair perfectly. You'll make a man very happy one day#FF0000 ">, comma sugar plum#FF0000 ">, comma The voice of her mother echoed in her mind.

We see the balding old man from the window, he sneakily walks through the kitchen. And we know where his going. We have to do something? To distract him? But what? We must think...

Suddenly, the door slowly came un-latched. This one didn't squeak#FF0000 ">, comma thankfully. Hannah spun around quickly as if stung.

A voice crooned#FF0000 ">, comma "Oh, don't turn around#FF0000 ">, comma I like you from that side." Jason stepped quickly into the room and closed the door behind him all in one smooth motion. He had a sickening grin on his face, one of lust and sexual appreciation.

"Leave me alone Jason." Hannah said defiantly#FF0000 ">, comma and pushed him back.

"Shut up bitch, I've cared for you. I've virtually been your god damn dad." Jason said, spittle flying uncontrollably from his mouth. He raised his arms in hugging gesture and spoke.

"Give your old friend a hug Hannah and maybe I'll give you something back. You know, bit of tit for tat?" He flung back his head and laughed at his own crude joke.

Jason stopped abruptly. There was a a violent crash and smash, the sound of windows being broken.

"What the hell's that?" Jason said and awkwardly waddled out of the room toward the front door.

Hannah didn't take any time to jump into motion. She ran out of the room like a jack rabbit out of a bolt hole. Her heart was hammering in her chest like a drum. #FF0000 ">I have to get out of here, back door and over the fence. No time to second guess#FF0000 ">; she went for it.

There was a roar of #FF0000 ">rage #FF0000 ">came from the front driveway. "Bastards!" Jason yelled. This was closely followed by a audible bang! As something was thrown into the darkness.

Hannah didn't stop, the front door slammed and she could hear him tromping through the kitchen#FF0000 ">, comma like a drunk coming home from the pub, he was heading back to the room#FF0000 ">, comma hoping to relieve his anger in any way possible.

Hannah reached the back door, she grasped the knob and twisted. Cold air embraced her body, her near naked flesh was instantly covered in goose bumps.

There was another roar, this time from the bed room.

Jason half pleaded, half yelled, "Where are you bitch, I have something for you! You'll come to like it in time."

Hannah ran to the short fence that marked the end of Jason's house. She leaped over. She hit the ground running and was sprinting to the neighbor#FF0000 ">'s door. She hammered on the door. "Please anybody home?"

A dog barked.

Our ears are pricked up#FF0000 ">, comma listening to it all. We also see from our vantage point#FF0000 ">, comma from across the street a second light flick on, a wave of relief washes over us. [i]#FF0000 ">She's safe#FF0000 ">, comma we say to each other. We look down at where the crazy man had hit us on the leg with garden gnome when he saw what we had done to his car's windows. It was a shit car anyway. We all knew that. There are lots of #FF0000 ">dogs barking now, and more yellow lights are coming to life. #FF0000 ">We did good#FF0000 ">, comma we say to #FF0000 ">ourselves. We walk down the street, away from the pretty girl with the red ribbon in her hair. Hands in our pockets, we whistle a merry tune. Time to go home. [/i]


Awh that was really cute. I enjoyed reading very much :) Great job!
Keep on writing!

-Truth-
.- <3 -.



flamin hot cool ranch doritos say a lot about the duality of man
— dissonance