1st Of January
Oh how the year flies by. Twenty-four days until I go back to University. I so don’t feel up to it though, since Boxing Day I’ve been feeling so sick. I didn’t eat much on Crimbo Day. Ooh yes! I ate Mum’s turkey, that must be it. Mum can’t cook to save her life so that must be it.
David, my boyfriend, came over for dinner, good thing I was cooking. I wouldn’t want our whole family to be wiped out because of Mum giving us food poisoning. David snuck up to me and whispered in my ear. He started going on about what we did a month ago, saying he forgot a vital part of it. It wasn’t Mum’s cooking then what was making me ill. Oh, crap. I’m in deep doggy doo doo.
2nd Of January
I rushed to the shops today, in bid that Boots was open. Thankfully, it was and I literally grabbed what I needed and slammed it on the desk, only to look up and it was Dad at the till. Oopsies, I forgot Dad worked in Boots.
“Jessica? What the hell do you need this for? You’re seventeen for crying out loud!” Dad snapped.
“Yes Dad, I know. I just found out me and David made a big mistake, it was an accident.” I said.
“Does your Mum know about this? Eh?”
“Well, er, urm... No, but I will tell her the news when I use it, Dad, just forget it, OK? It’s probably all a misunderstanding.” I convinced.
“Right, but I am warning you, Jessica, if this turns out bad, you’re not going to Uni,” Dad bellowed. This is not a good start to the year.
4th Of January
Dad has literally got the hump with me now. He hasn’t called or texted me since the incident in the worst place to have an incident. I was throwing up all morning and I couldn’t be arsed to go in my own bed so I just went in Mum and Derek’s bed. Derek is my step-dad. My so called Dad left when I was six and Mum got with Derek shortly after. He sadly brought in Harry, who is now fifteen.
David came round and crawled into bed with me, WITH his clothes on. If any of you are thinking: “Urm… Ew!”
“David, I… I need to go to the loo. I’ll be back!” I raced out into the bathroom, where I secretly took the pregnancy test. I was in there for a while, the instructions were in Japanese so I just did it how they do it on movies. I had four packs just to be sure.
David knocked on the bathroom door, I was in there for one billion years trying to work out how to use the bloody thing.
“Jess? Are you OK? I’ve been in your Mum’s bed for fifteen minutes and I’m scared she’ll walk in and it will look kinda strange,” David said against the door.
I sighed. “David…”
“Yeah?” He said, peeping through the ajar door.
“I’m pregnant,” I gulped.
Silence.
“Dave?… Have you fallen down the stairs?” I said. And believe me, that has happened before a few times with David.
“Not this time… How, how far along are you?” He dared ask.
“Four weeks,” I breathed. Sweet mother Teresa. How in God’s name am I supposed to tell Mum, let alone Dad.
6th Of January
I decided today is the day of the truth. Yesterday I was living in a pool of lies. I told Mum I was going to Ginny, my friend‘s, house but really I went to the phone box and made an appointment for a scan at the hospital, which is on the 24th, oh how I can‘t wait. Then I said I was going to David’s, which I was actually doing. I wanted him to be with me so Dad wouldn’t try to kill me with a saucepan.
I picked up David and without question of where we were going, I swept him off to Dad’s.
“You haven’t told him yet?” David gasped.
“No, I get scared at the thought of his boiling face attacking me with a kitchen utensil,” I murmured.
“Jessica he is not going to-,” he paused and thought, “Will he?”
“I dunno. I sure hope not, I want to at least live until I’m thirty,” I said.
Me and David wearily stepped out of Mum’s car and ambled to the front door.
“You knock,” I nudged.
“He’s your Dad,” David said.
“So? I’m scared,” I said, in a small tone.
“Do it!” he snapped.
“No, you!” I said.
“You!”
“You!”
“You!”
“Y-,” I stopped when I saw Dad open the door in his gown. “Hey, Dad! You look, er… cosy?”
“Hi, kids, come on in, it’s me and Susan’s day off work so we thought we would have a jigsaw night. Care to join us?” Dad encouraged. Susan is my step-mum. She’s Australian and incredibly annoying, she has buck teeth and does anything to get you to help with her obsession with jigsaws.
“As intriguing as that sounds, Mr Reynolds, we have only popped in to tell you something, haven’t we, Jessica?” he said looking at me with giant eyes.
“I’m pregnant!” I blurted. Oops, that was not how I practiced.
Dad sat down, with his head in his hands. Susan just stood there, shocked looking.
“You know what I said, Jessica.” he angered. “No university, what did you do? You blew your chances as a successful paramedic, how could you?” Dad bellowed.
“Dad? You do know this isn’t all about you and what you want for me?” I shook my head.
“Both of you out,” he said.
“Excuse me?” I said.
“OUT! NOW! I want to see no more of you,” he yelled. We both made a run for it and I drove home.
There was silence while we were in traffic.
“At least he didn’t kill me,” I said, looking on the upside.
7th Of January
Mum didn’t take it too well either. She was all like: “You two went behind my back and did… it? Without… protection? Oh, I would expect it from Harry but from you Jessica?”
She went on and on and on until she calmed down and explained everything there is to know about childcare.
“It’s going to be with you for your whole life. If you take up this pregnancy, you can’t go back, do you understand? But you do know there is the option of abortion?” Mum explained.
“Yes, Mum, I have considered it and I hate the idea. So please stop going on,” I sighed.
“OK, OK. We have a lot of talking to do. We need to cover before birth, during birth and after birth,” Mum continued. “And David, you’ll need to take this in too, the father has an important role in this whole thing. You need to get a job,”
David hated the sound of that. He didn’t sound excited one bit.
Dad called, he said he was sorry for lashing out and wanted me to forgive him. Mum made me forgive him which was a shame. I wanted Dad to suffer. Then something came to me as a good idea, and that hardly ever happens, I could ask Dad to ask his manager to see if he can give David a job! Brilliant!
Dad said no. But then he said yes. I am as happy as a peach.
8th Of January
Mum has forced me to go shopping with her. I haven’t even had my first scan yet and Mum is still buying baby clothes. She was having a mighty spaz attack because there was no cribs in stock.
I said “Mum, chill, OK? It says they’ll be in full stock by March. It’s not like we can’t go anywhere else for a crib, gees,”
Then Mum snorted “I don’t need to chill, man, your Mum is well wicked, in it,” and she walked off the bread isle laughing like a hyena.
“I’m not with her,” I say to random people, chasing after her.
In the evening David’s dad was on the warpath when David finally told him I’m pregnant. He stormed to my house and demanded to see me. Harry was a little bit scared when he answered the door.
“What do you want?” I snapped, with a towel wrapped around me and hair curlers in my, well, hair.
“You’re pregnant? What were you thinking?” He screamed.
“Mr Holman, I have had a chat with my daughter and she and David are very serious. They didn’t expect this baby but it happened and there is nothing you can say to change that,” Mum scowled. She really hates David’s dad.
“Well, erm… Uh, I only came here to say, uh… Happy New Year!” and he scuttled off.
“That’s what I thought, old man,” Mum grinned, slamming the door behind her.
I can tell this is going to be a long nine months.
10th Of January
Yesterday David got an interview with the Boots manager and we have everything crossed that he is going to get the job. He said he smashed the interview (I was very scared that he literally smashed the interview) and the manager loved him. So he has a good chance.
Seeing as I am so typically bored I thought I would look and nice houses. Mum says I will need my own place for us and the new baby. I’m sort of getting the idea she doesn’t want a screaming baby in the house after she just got over me. I got Mum to speak to Mrs Holman, David’s mom (she’s American and won’t allow being called mum) about David moving in with me before we find a place of our own. She loved the idea and wanted David to move in straight away.
David on the other hand, did not. He hates change and this won’t suit him, but it’s got to happen some day.
David got the job! He called me while I was dozing off in my soup and sang down the phone in an opera voice: “I got the job, I got the job!”
And I’m spent.
11th Of January
It’s my best bud’s seventeenth birthday party today and I suppose I have to go. I wasn’t really feeling up to it but it’s Carly and I love her.
What to wear, what to wear? Something that won’t make me look pregnant and something that won’t make me look fat. Mum came into my room while I was having a wardrobe spaz with a gorgeous red dress. She said I could borrow it from her. It fit as well. I was already late so I quickly painted jet black mascara on my lashes, swiped my lips with gloss and put eyeliner along my emerald green eyes. Oh and I straightened my copper brown hair. Very quick, indeed.
The dress made me look pregnant. Everybody was pointing out I had a tiny bump. I was seriously thinking about going home until David walked in. Fantastic, it’s bad enough he bragged to his dad I was pregnant, and if people think I am then what is he gonna do? Tell every bloody body that I’m pregnant.
12th Of January
Yup. I was right, David is a bragger. Carly was all like: “Jessica? I never knew you had it in you!” and her gossip mates were all like: “Ew, you are such a slut,” and I was like: “Yeah, I can see your knickers, love,”
I stormed out and I think David is a little guilty… Good. I want him to be. Especially for staring at Elliot’s peachy ass. Pathetic albino biatch.
Mum keeps going on about me moving out with David and she even gave me one thousand quid towards it. That is gonna get us nowhere. So I hinted to David’s mom that we are thinking of moving in together, so she quickly offered us her second house. I was flabbergasted (I had to check a dictionary that flabbergasted was an actually word but it is. It means shocked. I think). David was pretty pleased with it. He says he loves me and wants to spend his whole life with me and the new baby. Awww, that’s so sweet. Some boys can be sensitive when they want to. But then he insisted on going on his Xbox which totally ruined the moment.
14th Of January
Me and David went to the house today to take a look at it. It was only half an hour away from Mum’s place so that’s OK. Jane (David’s mom, who is now a saint), said the house was tiny and she felt claustrophobic in it, she kept it though as she just finished paying the mortgage off, but bought a 10 million house miles from there.
My first impressions from outside the house were, how can I put this? Fabby! The garden was big enough to put a swing set in when our baby gets bigger and it had a lush fountain right smack bang in the middle where butterflies liked to hang around in the Summer. Inside was even better. It looked as if it was brand new. There was kitchen appliances already there, although we need to buy a new cooker and refrigerator. Then when you walked outside it was a small patio with a glimmering washing line spinning in the centre. A petite room was opposite the kitchen door, where a desk and a tan piano sat. When you walked through to living room, it was large with a corner sofa and a fire place in it.
Jane was seriously exaggerating what she was saying about the house. It was big enough for my whole family to live in. OK, so it’s not that huge.
Me and David ambled to the bathroom where a glimmering bathtub and showerhead were staring at us. The toilet made me want to kiss it, but of course I wasn’t going to. The sink was amazing and so smooth. We went into our bedroom which had ruby red walls and a cream carpet. The super stretched wardrobe was on the left side and a make-up desk was on the right. The beautiful king-sized bed was just lying there calling: “Sleep on me, you know you want too!” But before I could I was dragged to the baby’s room. It was a plain colour and the sooner we move in, the sooner we can get started on the room.
Tomorrow, me and David are going to do some serious house shopping.
15th Of January
“I’m tired,” I groaned.
“Babe, we haven’t even got into the car yet,” David sighed.
“I’m hungry,” I moaned.
“Jess! What is it???” David wailed.
“I want to eat at Pizza Hut, pleeeaaassseee,” I begged.
David sighed. “Okay, then,”
After I ate a whole large pizza by myself we went of to the Retail Park to shop like we’ve never shopped before.
In one shop we came out with: a double door refrigerator, a microwave, a kettle, a cooker and a 40 inch flat screen TV. Then we hurried to the supermarket to get: a Dyson Ball Vacuum, an ironing board (along with a free iron!) and a Glade air freshener. I am counting on my parents and David’s to get us other housewarming gifts. And then there’s the baby, so hopefully they’ll get gifts!!!
16th Of January
David really isn’t the handyman I thought he was. After four hours of trying to set up the TV, I called Dad to get him to do it. We got there in the end, with the help of Dad, which David was least happy about.
The house is really starting to feel like a home now. The living room, kitchen, bathroom and our bedroom are filled with stuff from our old homes. All we need to do now is to get the babies room done. If only we knew the sex it would be a lot easier. Then again, we have, like, eight months until he or she is born!
18th Of January
I get the impression Mum is desperate for me to move to the new house as soon as.
“I’ll help you pack, Jess!” Mum chirps to me as I read my OK! magazine.
“Mum, I do not need your help, thanks, I’ll do the rest when we ARE actually going to move,” I snap, as I read intrigued.
“Oh dear. I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to be pushy or anything, can I get you a drink? Hot coco? Cappuccino? Coca Cola?” Mum offers.
“I’m good, thanks. I don’t need no special treatment just because I’m carrying a baby, thank you very much,” I sigh.
“But you look so tired! The bump is starting to glow already!” Blimey! Seriously? I can’t be that big, I’m only a month pregnant!
“Thank you! But if you don’t mind, I need a pee. This baby seems to think my bladder is a squeeze toy,” I say as I get up and rush to the loo.
21st Of January
I’m starting to wear giant fleeces now, to hide the fact I am a pregnant 17 year old. I met my friend, Catherine, up at my favourite coffee house, The Duke Of Armour yesterday. She’s just got back from a six month holiday in the Caribbean and she wanted to catch up on things. When we ordered, we sat down in the window seat.
“So… Anything new?” Catherine sighed, shuffling the salt shaker around in her hands.
“Ur… umm… Nope, nothing!” I spluttered. I know, she’ll have to find out sooner or later, but I’d rather it be later.
“Are you kidding? Seriously, Jessica! In the whole six months I was gone nothing happened???” Cathy went on. “Come on, something interesting MUST of happened!”
I got pregnant. I thought. This is getting ridiculous, I have to tell her, she’s like my best friend.
“Ur… I got a new dress,” I said.
Cathy laughed hysterically. “Jess Reynolds, I know you more than you know yourself, so spill,” it’s true, Catherine does know me more than I know myself. She knows her way around me, all the secrets, all the lies I’ve told. So I can never, in a million decades, hide this one from her.
I gave in. “Catherine, I got to tell you-,” It was him. The fittie Catherine has fancied for two years. Since when has he worked here???
“Oh, my, gosh! It’s Josh! And he has our drinks! How do I look?” She screeched, running her fingers through her strawberry blonde hair.
“Great,” I say. But she knows I don’t have to say that. She was always the pretty one in school, the one all the boys fancied. Her ocean blue eyes, her perfectly formed nose.
I was the complete opposite: Copper-brown hair, emerald green eyes, ginormous nose, no boy even batted an eyelid at me, until Josh came along. When I was fifteen, Josh kissed me at one of my old friends party’s, it was only for a few seconds, but every other boy thought I was so cool after that, so that was when I began to proper date. Catherine never knew about my incident, she just thought it was luck. I secretly dated Josh for four months, then I dumped him for Michael Abram. Lame, is all I can say.
“OK, that will have to do, he’s coming over,” She sighed, finishing another coat of eyeliner.
“Hello ladies, one large cappuccino, five mini muffins and a medium hot choccie,” Crap, he knows who I am. I can tell because a ‘hot choccie’ was a token of our second month together, and that was OUR word for it.
“Wow, Jessica, you’ve got a giant appetite!” Cathy said.
“Jessica? Catherine? OMG, it’s you guys!” Josh blurted. “I haven’t seen you since I moved to America!”
I went all cross-eyed for a moment. “You do know we’re in Dublin, right?”
“Yes, I moved back last month, I’m single and ready to pringle!”
“OK…” I stuttered.
“I’m single, too!” Cathy blurted.
“Do… Do you wanna go out, with me?” Josh said, blushing a bit. He kept glancing at me as if to say: “I still love you, give me another chance and please shut Catherine up!”
“NO!” I screamed. Oh, bugger. “I don’t still love you and I won’t give you another chance cos… cos…. I’M PREGNANT!”
Everybody in the shop stopped and stared, Josh and Catherine’s mouth were wide open.
“I’m leaving! Bye, Cathy, I’ll catch up with you later.” I grabbed my coat and I opened my bag and shovelled the mini muffins into my bag. “I like mini muffins,” then I stormed out.
23rd Of January
I stayed in all yesterday, drowning my sorrows with eight pints of banana milkshake. Today I will tell Catherine the whole truth, she deserves to know it.
“Catherine? I really need to tell you something, when you get this call, please phone me back,” I say into her voicemail. I hate voicemail, nobody ever pays attention to it. Nobody ever uses mine, only Catherine when she was on holiday.
Mum was panicking because of my pregnancy being exposed to everybody.
“Mum, this is the least of my worries, I got to convince my best friend I’m sorry, finish packing, go to my first scan tomorrow and I need to find someone to go shopping on Tuesday!!!” I burst over the phone.
“OK, love, don’t lose your pills,” Mum said.
“Lose my pills? Mum, what are you on about?”
“Lose your chill pills, don’t lose them,” She said, calmly.
“Lose my chill pil- Mum? Ugh! Just… just go have a lie down, I have some ironing to do,” I say and slammed the phone down. Yes, ironing, in my new house. Dangerous, I know, but I got to get used to it. Tomorrow I’m going to be sleeping in the new house, in my new bed, in my new room, in my new- I got nothing.
Catherine finally called me back. I told her I was sorry I embarrassed her and told her me being pregnant was true. She was shocked, but she recovered to say she got a date! Oh, I am so… jealous. That sounds super bad but I will never be going dating again, that first kiss, that first meet of the parents, that first everything. I’m stuck with David forever!!!!
24th Of January
David, Catherine and Mum all came with me to the scan. It was nice I guess, but I had to pull my top up and show everybody my lumpy belly. Mum was weepy, Catherine was asking the midwife every question she could ask and David was sitting there amazed. So was I to be honest, he/she was so tiny, I could hardly see it. The midwife said he/she is healthy. I was over the moon and skipped out the hospital so happily. Along with David and Catherine. Mum was strolling behind, taking in the view. Which sucked because I was so hungry I was tempted to eat her.
“What’s up?” I asked, stopping next to her.
“Nothing, nothing.” She sighed.
“No, there’s something wrong, else you wouldn’t be gazing at that old hospital like that,” I said, cheerfully.
“It’s just,” Here we go! “You’re sister died in there and it makes me remember who she was, I would have forgotten her completely if it wasn’t for photos and videos… Can you remember her?”
“Um… no…. I don’t really think about it that much, too be honest, I have a lot on my plate at the moment, so I don’t think of the bad things to much.” I say. This is my sister, we’re talking about. I was five, when she died. She was about eleven, she was involved in a fire at her school (the school has now been transformed into a supermarket thanks to Mum forcing it to close down!) she was the last one out, but the ambulance just got her to the hospital, but she died an hour later.
Mum started to walk towards a flower patch, where a giant stone head, the size of Mum almost, stood in the middle. I followed Mum where she was standing, skimming through the words on the head stone. Children’s names were engraved on the marble stone, with the dates they were born, and when they died. I knew why Mum was standing there now.
There she was, in small but bold letters read: Sydney Rose Jones 1988 - 1999. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, but Mum was already gushing with tears. I could see the shadow of Catherine and David in the background, with very sad faces. Mum sniffed, wiped her tears with the sleeve of her coat and walked away. I did the same and by tomorrow, this will all be forgotten.
25th Of January
Mum offered to go shopping with me tomorrow, but I said no, as she is still crying over Sydney. There used to be a cracked photo frame of my sister, three days before she died. The frame fell of the fireplace when Mum and Dad was arguing, Mum lost her rag with Dad, and it was one of the reasons why the split a year later. The frame has never been replaced our moved from the spot since then, which creeps me out, because I have a feeling Sydney is still wondering around that house nowadays. Her birthday’s in March, Mum always has a remembrance party to celebrate, but people have to pay to get in. I know! It sounds stupid, but it’s the local charity my Mum set up two years after she died, she collects money for the charity she named Sydney Lives, and it goes to treat lose children who were involved in a fire or some other disaster. Sweet, isn’t it?
Anyway! I went back to my place to sleep in my new house, it was great! I got to use our new refrigerator for breakfast and David liked it too! It was great, I can’t wait until our baby is born.
“What about… Grace, for a girl?” David said, flipping through a baby names book.
“Nope,” I say as I wash up.
“OK… Urm… Elizabeth?”
“Ew… No way!”
“Alice? Helena? Lucy?”
“No, no and no. David, is this a book from the Stone Age?” I sigh.
“The 1960’s actually. These were the most popular names from 1962,” David grinned. “My mom gave it to me, she says she wants her grandchild to have a sophisticated name…”
“Your mom is talking mush,” I snap.
“Quite… I like Eden,” David said.
“What? Like the cheese?” I ask, confused.
“No, that’s Edam. Eden, that’s a nice name, I really like that,” I started to like it too. Which is weird, because I never let David choose anything, even what shirt he would be wearing for the day.
“Yes, I really like it too,” I said, what am I saying??? “Babe, we don’t even know what we’re having yet, why are you going through now?” I complained, picking up a sharp knife, by accident, and cutting myself.
“Because, so we can get all the fuss out the way of choosing a name, so we can focus on other stuff, such as the baby shower, buying more outfits… your birthday,” He sneakily said. He knows I hate people thinking of my birthday. The last time he organised a party was last year when he took me to a strip club. For the record he thought it was under 18’s night, he was wrong. He wasn’t embarrassed for to long though.
“No, no more surprise birthday parties. And anyway, my birthday isn’t until May yet,” I said, sucking on my cut finger.
“I know,” David said, with a smug look on his face. I dread to think what’s going through his mind.
Jessica could have been somebody at my school.
