My Inspiration

My mind was empty, my soul as well,
I could not find a tale to tell.
Even my pen refused to write,
None of my words were chosen right.

And then you came, my world you changed,
My soul, my life you rearranged.
You made my fantasies come true.
I wrote on paper about you.

Each word you speak is poetry,
When I'm with you I feel so free.
I tell you, without hesitation:
You are my source of inspiration!

Each move you make recites a story,
Each dance of yours means grace and glory.
You're my one and only salvation
You are my only inspiration!

Hey there,
Wow this is such a nice poem. Love it!!
Bravo!!!
xxx Upile xx

I loved this poem. everything about seemed to flow together naturally....keep writin poetry you could be a great poet someday!!!!

Thank you so much to both of you!

Eh. Well, clever rhyming, I suppose, even if it was a bit annoying.

And then you came, my world you changed,
My soul, my life, you rearranged.
You made my fantasies come true.
I wrote on paper about you.

This stanza. It needs through reworkage. It seems to possess a voice that is completely different from the voice of the rest of the poem. This passive way of stating things (like Yoda) is really unnecessary. The only line that stands out is the second line. Other than that...meh. Either it's cliched or a bad Yoda imitation. This pretty much applies to the entirety of the poem. It needs some work, that I can say with certainty.

You are my source of inspiration!

Not a huge fan of this either. The exclamation point just makes it sound fake and unoriginal, and all the repetition does is emphasize this.

Hope this helped in some way or another.

-Kafka

I like this poem .
I can't find anything wrong with it, except for the comma that should come after 'my life' like this:

writerwithacause wrote:My soul, my life, you rearranged.

Nice work on the rhyming as well.
Good job .

Hey. I liked this. It flowed well and the rhyming was good and very clever.

My mind was empty, my soul as well, These first two lines are a good start, it draws the readers in well.
I could not find a tale to tell.
Even my pen refused to write, I liked these two lines as well.
None of my words were chosen right.

And then you came, my world you changed,
My soul, my life you rearranged. I liked the rhyming in these lines.
You made my fantasies come true. These two lines I felt were a bit forced.
I wrote on paper about you. Maybe different words so it flows better.

Each word you speak is poetry,
When I'm with you I feel so free. I don't think that this was the best rhyme you could have used.
I tell you, without hesitation: Good creativity on the rhyming in these lines.
You are my source of inspiration!

Each move you make recites a story, Nice metaphor.
Each dance of yours means grace and glory.
You're my one and only salvation
You are my only inspiration!

I like it. we all have our sources of insprition.

First of all, I'd like to say I know where you're coming from and I find this very amiable. Though, it was a bit bumpy at times in terms of rhythm and rhyme (although the rhymes gave it some charm).

My mind was empty, my soul as well,
I could not find a tale to tell.
Even my pen refused to write,
None of my words were chosen right. This is my favorite stanza because I went through a period when I just couldn't write. Amen to this!

And then you came, my world you changed,
My soul, my life you rearranged.
You made my fantasies come true. It feels like you're missing a syllable here
I wrote on paper about you.

Wow, I really liked this poem. It captures the essence of a writer almost, there's just a few things you have to work through meter and rhyme and the likes but I love it! *like*

i can relate to finding an "inspiration" which seemed to make reading this poem more inspiring, may i say, and put me on the same level as you. loved it!

Very nice, and I think this can make a good song, but it is great as it is, except for...

"None of my words were chosen right"--kind of awkward, I'd try "None of my words could say it right."

the great thing about this poem is how you make an awkward style flow so well, without these exact words it would be hard for this poem to work, and you made it work, and that takes talent,

soooooo.....

BRAVO, 4 out of 5 stars.

WRITER'S BLOCK SUCKS.

Amazing, amazing, amazing. I really like this poem and honestly cannot think of any critiques. I loved your rhyming and I felt that all of the words just flowed perfectly together. On top of that, there were no spelling errors, which earns you even more points in my book. Keep on writing! :)

Very nice.

As you probably already know, love poems are done very often and can often feel clichéd and repetitive.

However this has a twist or a different format. I like your use of writers block as a format for a love poem.

My only problem is the flow. It can feel a bit bumpy and clunky.

Besides that it's really lovely.

Very nice.

As you probably already know, love poems are done very often and can often feel clichéd and repetitive.

However this has a twist or a different format. I like your use of writers block as a format for a love poem.

My only problem is the flow. It can feel a bit bumpy and clunky.

Besides that it's really lovely.