Dumb Playa

3 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1225
Reviews 32
Just so you know, this isn't from personal experience, I just made it up. Hope it's ok :)

They call you playa, I call you scum
And lucky for me, you're pretty damn dumb
You lead me on, use all of that charm
But then I realise you'll bring nothing but harm
I love to talk and listen to you
But nothing you say is ever true
I'm feeling lonely, suddenly you're there
But you're too eager, like a starving bear
You'd have the potential to leave me with a burn
If only you smartened up learned
That I, your prey, am smarter then you
You're just a dumb playa, and I've better things to do
Follow my blog! :D www.iwrotethesethings.blogspot.com
NerdBurga




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Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 60
It's ok. I feel somehow that the rhyming is excessive and maybe you might consider adding in an extra line from a between the words that rhyme to create a sort of balance. It is a good poem off the top of your head but it just needs a tad bit more polishing up and voi la it will be extremely good.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 235
Reviews 75
haha Ive been across one of them before and ur poem is right (:
In the end you wake up to reality
well just one problem the rhyming seems a little forced but yeah you cant
really change that, soo :P
other than that, really good
Linger on, your pale blue eyes



You are going to love some of your characters because they are you, or some facet of you, and you are going to hate some characters for the same reason.
— Anne Lamott