All Dressed in Black -A Ballad

20 posts1, 2
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Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 29
This was okay, it could have been better and I really doubt you wrote this for your school. Ever since the school shooting incidences many schools will not allow their students to write about such topics. If you did write this for your class I'm sure you had to see your school psychologist (dammit I think I spelled that wrong).




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Gender Female
Points 1363
Reviews 16
I really liked this and the atmosphere you created :) Simple but good :L Keep it up xXx
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. Jasmyn xXx




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Gender Female
Points 240
Reviews 8
Hmmmmmmm.
I didn't really get the meaning of this. Just a little pointless.
I didn't really like the introduction because I like to try to figure out things for myself.
Anyway don't let this discourage you, it just wasn't for me.
Keep writing lyrics many people love them!!!!! ;)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 240
Reviews 8
Hmmmmmmm.
I didn't really get the meaning of this. Just a little pointless.
I didn't really like the introduction because I like to try to figure out things for myself.
Anyway don't let this discourage you, it just wasn't for me.
Keep writing lyrics many people love them!!!!! ;)




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 6975
Reviews 125
Awe, this was so good! Very sad. I could definetly hear this as a ballad. There was a lot of great emotion here. My only suggestion would be to perhaps make it a bit longer. I don't write songs, so I'm not sure how long they are usually are, but it just seems a little short to me. Also, shouldn't there be a chorus? Or are you just going to add that in after? Either way, I definetly think that you have some here. I really enjoyed it! :D
I'd like to think I'm creative... instead of just plain weird ;D



I'll make sure nobody unauthorized runs off with the chamber pot, sir.
— Kaladin (Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson)