This Valentine

4 posts
Random avatar
Gender Male
Points 994
Reviews 14
I haven’t seen you since june,
I remember our fatal kiss under the moon,
My love for you was too great,
But now, it’s too late.

I wish, I could see your face once more,
I wish, that things could be like before,
All these rhymes I write,
You still stay far out of my sight.

I live on hope,
Even when it get’s really hard to cope,
That we’ll be together someday,
And To do that I’ll find a way.

I just want you to know,
That I miss you so,
So much, that I’ll do anything for you,
Bescause my love for you is true.

So this valentine,
All I wish is for you is to be mine.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 15
I really like it, but you do have some spelling errors which really bug me, so please just fix that and it'd be fine. Other than that, I liked it. I usually don't like rhyming (even though my poems sometimes do) but I liked it anyway. It kind of added a certain charm to it. So good job!
In the end, love always wins.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3410
Reviews 87
Wow! I really liked this. It's really expressive, and I can relate to your feelings. On Valentine's Day, many of us were feeling that way, and I'm happy you put it into words, so thanks! Just one suggestion I can make is to edit just a bit, there were a couple grammatical errors, but besides that, This Valentine was good. :D
"If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy,
you'd be twice as funny as you are."

- Dorothea, The Mortal Instruments




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1892
Reviews 35
I liked this. Some of the words seemed a bit forced, let it flow a bit more. This was really good, it reminded me of a friend and his relationship. Speaking of I thought that the poem held a bit of desperation (not in the way it was written but in the way on how you wanted people to see it) just wondering if I'm right.
amanda



hop exploded again, someone get the re-hopinator
— vic