Dinner came and went but Josh didn’t come back and the boy across the way remained immobile. A few days later I was staring out the window; it was raining and the radio at the nurse’s station said that it would remain stormy for a few days yet, Josh still hadn’t come to visit me and it was three and a half days ago when he had left. The boy across the way, Eric is his name, he finally woke up and everyday he would sit there and stare at me, I would return his stare for as long as I could before I got bored and instead stared out the window. My eternal guardian, Munin the raven, had hung around, he was sitting on the windowsill getting drenched; the only time he left his post was when he went in search of food and even then, it wasn’t often.
It was a full week and two days before I received any news about Josh, he had been promoted and was now busier than ever, he very rarely got time off. Now I’m lonelier than ever, I was told that I could write to Josh but the only problem was that no one would give me anything to write with until a day and a half later.
As soon as I got a pen and some paper, I began writing,
Dear Josh,
I hear that you were promoted and that you are so busy that you can’t come and see me, I’m really lonely now. The boy across the way, his name is Eric; he doesn’t talk to me, just stares. It’s so boring without you to talk to, but I’m told that if I write to you, you’ll read it and that you might come and see me, but things are just really hectic at the moment apparently. My Dad told me that if you want something bad enough you have to earn it and that you have to make time for it, I’m not about to ignore his advice, I’d like a friend, someone to talk too, I’ve made time for them but it’s now up to them to make their decision. When you can reply, do so, but think on it, there is no great rush. But if you’re not careful your life will just pass you by and leave you behind, I think it’s the Spanish that say, ‘jump in and grab it by the horns’, well do so.
Waiting to hear from you, miss you, and need to talk to you.
Trish
As I signed it off, folded it and placed it in its envelope, a nurse came around the corner ready to collect all the letters, I hurriedly scrawled Josh on the front of the envelope and held it out to the nurse and said,
“Can you please give this to Josh, the ambulance officer?”
The nurse nodded, smiled and continued collecting letters. I looked outside again; it had stopped raining, for now. I sighed and looked at the sky, it was overcast, as you would expect when it was raining but it was just so bleak, the walls of the hospital were white washed, outside was grey and brooding, there was nothing to do inside. I wished I could have my books. A few days ago, I had asked a nurse if they had any books and she had given me some picture books and said that they were all the hospital had, I had thanked her and handed her the books back. I wanted to do something, I desperately wanted to get up and walk around but the doctor said that I couldn’t yet, in a few days I would be able to experiment with walking for about a minute but I wanted to be able to get outside and run, run and never stop, I was sick of hospital.
I missed Josh, I was so depressed that the nurses started to worry about me; my health had started to slowly decline and nothing the nurses or doctors tried would make me better. One of the nurses decided to write to Josh in a hope that he would come and visit, the boy across the way, Eric, he too had started to worry about me, he had even requested that the nurses put him beside me, they did but it didn’t do anything.
A few days turned into a few weeks, a few weeks into a few months; it had been five and a half months since the accident when I started thinking about letting it all go, to just end the suffering, after all, what was the point, I still had Death’s boot knife. I had given up hope of Josh coming to see me.
A few weeks after the nurses had moved Eric beside me, Josh showed up, I was so startled when he walked around the corner that I nearly fell out of the seat I was sitting in.
“Josh!” I shouted with glee, I grabbed my crutches and jumped up, I hobbled over to him, I reached him and forgetting my crutches threw myself on him, I wrapped my arms around him and hung on for what felt like eternity,
Nice to see you to Trish, he said with what sounded like a wheeze, let go will you, I can’t breathe, he continued amusedly, I complied and relaxed my grip, I stood there leaning on him with a happy sigh. The nurses had come around the corner at the commotion but were now silently retreating, grinning their heads off.
With Josh’s help I managed to make my way back to the chair, Josh picked up my crutches and raised an eyebrow in my direction, I grinned sheepishly and ducked my head,
“The doctor said I could walk around as long as I was on crutches,” I replied to the unasked question,
“Riiiight,” he said, and placed the crutches next to the seat as he sat down,
“I hear that your health has been declining, man you should have been out of here a month ago,” he continued,
“Ah, well, um...I was um...” I said faltering; I ducked my head and blushed,
“Come on, spit it out,” he said desperately,
So he hadn’t been told about my condition, I thought
“Well, um, I was depressed,” I muttered shamefaced,
“And why was this?” he asked concerned,
“Ah, for a stupid reason,” I replied feeling like an idiot, I blushed again, my face feeling like it was inside a furnace,
“Hmmm, do tell me what this stupid reason was,” he said, a smile starting to curl the corner of his mouth,
“Well, ah...um, I’d rather not say,”
“Aw come on, it can’t be that bad,”
“No really, I’d rather not say,” I glared at him,
“If you don’t tell me personally, someone else will find out and tell me anyway,” he replied coolly, he examined his fingernails
“Not if I don’t tell anyone,” I said defiantly
“Trust me Trish, it’s a hospital, word gets ‘round,” he said seriously,
I gave in,
“Fine, I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh or anything otherwise I’ll kill you,” I said threateningly,
“Ok, shoot, I’m all ears,” he said with a look of triumph on his face, he leaned back with his hands behind his head
Well, um...how can I put this, all things considering... I started out; well you are six years two months older than I am so...
Come on spit it out already, he replied to my musing, I just glared at him
Do I have to spell it out for you? I asked rolling my eyes, exasperated
Would you like to? Maybe it’ll help, Josh replied jesting,
Well maybe you would like to tell me what I’m having trouble saying, since you know so much, I said sarcastically, with another frown I swung my legs up into Josh’s lap,
Can we talk about something else please? I asked with a sigh,
No, I’d like to know what you’re going to tell me, he replied with a smile
I won’t tell you, I said stubbornly
Yeah you will, I know you will, he countered, equally stubborn, he started to play with my foot, massaging it and playing ‘this little piggy...’, I looked at him sourly, he tickled me in response,
“Stop...stop!” I giggled out, I was cackling like a mad man when a nurse came into my cubical,
“Ok Josh, show her mercy, I need to give her painkiller,” she said with a grin, he looked at me questioningly,
“Painkiller?” he asked, I nodded
“Yeah, my chest is still healing, I fractured nine ribs and the cut on my chest is infected,” I replied, I pulled the shirt aside to show the cut that Death had given me, it was red, inflamed, filled with puss and oozing clear fluid, Josh grimaced,
“Charming,” he said,
“She’s been picking and scratching it,” the nurse said as though it explained everything, apparently it did as Josh gave me one of those ‘what have you done?’ looks,
“What?” I asked defensively
“Scratching and picking wounds is the worst thing you can do, it stops the healing process,” Josh replied, I looked down and heaved a sigh; I swung my legs onto the floor, grabbed my crutches and hobbled after the nurse. I was swallowing my painkillers and a few other tablets when Josh came around the corner; he leaned against the doorframe and waited until I looked at him before he said anything,
“So, what was it you were going to tell me?” he asked
“Which bit?” I asked sweetly, “The bit about how I was going to shoot you or ignore you?”
“Ha, ha very funny, come on tell me,” he said rolling his eyes, “Please?” he added,
“Maybe, if you do something for me,” I replied with a sly grin, I hopped towards him,
Maybe if you move I might tell you, I added,
And why don’t I believe you? he asked mockingly as he moved out of the way, following me as I hobbled back to my couch,
Maybe because you know I won’t tell you, I replied as I flopped back down on the couch,
Do I have to tickle it out of you? he asked as he moved my feet from the couch to his lap, I gave him a look and he laughed,
“You know you are the most stubborn girl I have ever met?” he enquired, a smile tugging at his lips,
“You can compliment me as much as you like but it won’t make me tell you,” I retorted, folding my arms across my chest,
“Maybe, but it never hurt to try now did it,” he fired back,
Look this is going nowhere, just tell me before I have to go, he pleaded,
If I must, I said with a sigh, I sent him an image of what I was refusing to tell him, and he grinned,
Is that an invitation or a suggestion? he asked amusedly
Make of it what you will, but as I was saying in the first place, you being six years two months older than me doesn’t help... I replied musing,
Yeah but when has age stopped people from loving each other? Josh enquired, at the word love, a blush of deep red crept up my neck and face, and Josh just chuckled at me.
We sat there talking for quite a while; by the time Josh left, it was 6:45 pm, a little while until the meal trolley came around with dinner. Since Josh’s visit I had been grinning so much that it was infectious, all the nurses were walking around with grins on their faces, even Eric was smiling, which I hadn’t seen him do before, he really did have a nice smile. With each passing day my infatuation with Josh grew, I would sit in my couch reading and almost every five seconds I would look up at the doorway, waiting for Josh to walk through. Some people would say that I’m obsessed with him, not in love with him, but I don’t care, I love him more than anything I have ever known.
Josh came and visited me almost every time he got off work, my health was improving too, a week after Josh had come, I was allowed to leave hospital, and I would be staying in a foster family until someone adopted me, Eric was placed in the foster home with me. It turns out that he and his parents had crashed in the exact same spot I had not six months before, he had been in critical condition for four months and had spent another two in the Intensive Care Unit on and off, fighting for his life, he was only recently put in the children’s ward.
