deleted

deleted

I liked the truth in this piece, I only recomend that you change the word amigo to friends, otherwise great job.

hey there
wow this is a very beautiful piece, not complicated, not confusing just honest and pure. It was simple but perfect.One little error though. The 'their' in the first line should be 'they're'.
my favourite lines were:
"You can talk and talk and not be known to ramble
And write about the subjects you know you can't handle"
very beautiful! Bravo!
keep it up!
xx Upile xx

Wow, really good and welcomish to YWS by the way.

just a few nitpicks;

lele253isme wrote:Where the words are written but left unspoken,
where you can speak your mind and the rules are broken.
You can live your life between the lines,
and you don't not have to pass it through judgmental eyes.
You can talk and talk without being known to ramble,
and express the subjects you normally can't handle.
Yes, a journal is an amigo,
a promising tool and secret for only you,though.

~Tinkem XD

Hey! I really like it! Not big on poetry, so I don't know if you could change anything.

-Titan

All the errors I found have already been pointed out so I'll skip right to the good stuff. I like it! Good work!

-Liz

This is wonderfully true about any given journal. I applaud your creative rhyming. However, the conclusion throws the whole poem out of proportion, and it sounds slightly off. I recommend revising it slightly. Good luck with your future success!

This was awesome! I love it!
The one thing I disliked was the "though" at the end...and if it needs to rhyme with "amigo" then maybe make it "a secret for only you to know"

Just a thought, the "though" threw me off.

Where the words are written but their not spoken
Where you speak your mind and the rules are broken
You can live your life between the lines
And you don't have to pass it through judgmental eyes
You can talk and talk and not be known to ramble
And write about the subjects you know you can't handle
Yes,a journal is an amigo
A promising tool and secret for only you,though

Okay! I LOVED this piece! But there are a few things that I would recommend you change.

1. "Where the words are written but their not spoken." Their should be they're or they are
2. "Yes,a journal is an amigo" amigo should be, in my opinion, changed to friend
3. "A promising tool and secret for only you,though" The ,though in this sentence is unnecessary in my opinion, it seems to through the reader off track, if you just took that off I think it would go a lot smoother

Other than those 3 little things GREAT job! Keep writing!

---> I agree about what your poem's message is: journal is our amigo.

---> I don't post long messages and so I'll say that I really like this one!

---

love,
CS

lele253isme wrote:Where the words are written but their (get rid of the 'their?') not spoken
Where you speak your mind and the (get rid of 'the'?) rules are broken
You can live your life between the lines
And you don't have to pass it through judgmental eyes
You can talk and talk and not be known to ramble
And write about the subjects you know you can't handle
Yes, (a space here) a journal is an amigo (yes, I agree with the other change it to friend, or maybe even best friend)
A promising tool and secret for only you, (a space here as well) though

Aside from the nitpicks, I love the message behind this poem.
Good job .

Hey there. Just a quick review here.

Where the words are written but their not spoken

Where the words are written but they're not spoken

And you don't have to pass it through judgmental eyes

Spelling for 'judgmental'. It's supposed to be 'judgemental'.

You can live your life between the lines

I liked this line in particular.

Yes,a journal is an amigo
A promising tool and secret for only you,though

I agree with the others above, 'amigo' should be 'friend'. It'll make it sound better.
The 'though' at the end does seem quite unnecessary. The poem would flow better without it.

Keep writing!

I tried to correct my poem.

Wow! I really enjoyed this one. It's not exactly poetic, but very to the point and true and something everyone who writes in a journal can relate to. I love how you describe it in these lines:

You can live your life between the lines
And you don't have to pass it through judgmental eyes

Good job! One thing though:

Yes,a journal is an friend There should always be a space after a comma

Keep up the good work!

~BTM

I love this poem! It's very true. I just have to tell you, this is my favourite part;

lele253isme wrote:Where you speak your mind and rules are broken
You can live your life between the lines
And you don't have to pass it through judgmental eyes

This is great. Keep writing!