Save Me

Death
Is something we all face,
Some sooner than others.
We fear it, deep
Down.
It’s not like something you can
Just place on a shelf;
Not something you can forget.
It leaves you
Cold
And emotionless, void of
Everything you once were.

It leaves you walking around
Trying to find answers,
Looking in all the wrong places
Scared of being
Left alone.
Just waiting for the
Day when you have no one left.
At least
That’s my view of it.





After so many
years of being
Alone,
You would figure I’d
Be used to it.
At least that’s what the
Doctors told me.
But it’s not true,
Im terrified of being alone,
Scared of never having someone love me.
there’s a void in me,
A big gaping hole
Just waiting to be filled.
I’ve tried so many things to fill
The void,
But
Nothing ever seemed to work.
That is, until I met
Jack.


Jack is
Sweet and crazy,
Yet unpredictable…but
All mine.
He’s not your ordinary guy.
He’s like a glass of lemonade
Sweet yet sour.
I met Jack at an
Anger management
Camp last summer.
He stood out from
Everyone. His black eyes
Were like obsidian stone
Blazing in the sun.
I loved running my
Fingers through his
Tousled black hair.
It didn’t surprise me
When I saw him
Again on the first
Day of school.
Our eyes clashed
Together, sparks
Igniting as my face
Flushed, heat spreading


To forbidden places.
His smile set my world
On fire. It burned bright

Bursting with colors
And emotions that
Hurtled me to new
Worlds.

But the high,
That left me
Breathless,
the rush that
soothed
the fire in my
soul was only
temporary.
It crashed to the
Ground when
My world
Tumbled to
The ground that
Horrid foggy
Night.

I blame
Myself for the
Pain. The heartache
That caused me to
Wake up
Screaming,
Sweat pouring
Off my body.
The Doctors keep
Telling me its not
My fault...
But,
What do they
Know?
They weren’t there
That night.
They don’t understand,
They never do.

So that is why
Im here.
In this desolate facility,
The run-down,
“disturbed adolescence”
Facility that has held me captive
For months now.
Ive been poked
Prodded, humiliated

And Jabbed,

Talked down

To like a child.

I feel so small,

Unable to do

Anything right.

D
Singer, this is amazing. I love everything about it, especially you're structure. I love the single word lines. It says so much in such little.

I adore this structure. I don't see anything to improve. Keep writing please

Love. Love. Love.
I haven't got anything to critique at this point but I'm so exhausted, I shall return tomorrow to see what I can see (I hope).

Thanks guys! Ive posted more so be sure to re-read it:D

this is a very....diferent piece, it's sort of like poetry.... O.o i found it sort of detached, i got lost too...what happened to make her get in the place she is in the last paragraph? where is she anyways? i did enjoy it though, keep writting... if you need a review just pm me XD always happyt help... you had a few grammer problems to...if something doesn't sound right or you don't know where to put a comma or something, read it out loud to a wall and where you pause, put a comma or what ever you think should go there :p

Soap

Wow, this is pretty good. If you are going to keep writing, do it! If not, I suggest you do. This really is good, it pretty much drew me in from the first word.