Okay, I know that’s quite bad, being sick on a supposed-to-be-perfect Christmas Day, but anyways it didn’t turn out that bad…
Just now I mentioned that my throat was really dry, right? So I went down to the kitchen to grab a quick drink (fine, I admit I was totally exaggerating when I said I had a real bad cold). When I had finished and was just going to put the glass down, the windows began to shake and then I had this really weird feeling that I was being watched. I turned around, expecting it was my mom, but instead my nose fell off onto the floor! (I’m definitely NOT talking gobbledygook here. All of this is TRUE, 100% guaranteed.)
Seconds right after it hit the ground the pink, teardrop shaped organ that once belonged to me ran up, up, up the staircase with me trailing behind it shouting “come back! come back!” (It probably sounded more like a croak at that time, considering my poor throat.) and trying frantically to catch it at the same time. But each time when I leapt to catch it my nose nimbly dodged my hand and sprinted up the stairs two times faster than before.
My nose rounded a corner and went straight into- MY BATHROOM!
Oh no oh no ohno nononono! My heart raced as my nose turned the knob on the tap.
“AAAAGHHHH!!!!!!” I shrieked as the pink blob sky-dived into the pipe. Before I knew it I was head-first into the murky tap water. The last thing I saw before I was sucked away was my puny nose blissfully flying down, down, down into the tenebrous pipe.
“Ouch… where am I?” I rubbed my eyes wearily. “AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
Noses were everywhere around me. There were grotesque, distorted noses, there were sharp, pointy noses, and there were noses of all types. All of them were scrutinizing me with their big, hairy nostrils. Out of the corner of my eyes I thought I saw my dear nose melting into the crowd.
“DON’T GO AWAY! Come back THIS INSTANT!” I made a desperate lunge for my nose but it ran away. I saw it open a minute door and slip in silently.
Frustrated, I ripped down the door and poked my head in. 5 noses (including mine) were holding a quorum. When they saw me they froze and stared (well it was considered a stare since I could feel their hairy gazes boring a hole right through me.).
Suddenly one of the noses who had a judge sort-of wig on the bridge of his nose screamed at me and pointed an accusing hair at me (since noses don’t have arms, let alone fingers.). “You are guilty!” it roared.
“Wha-what?” I licked my dry lips. The judge-nose clicked its hairs and bellowed again, “You are guilty!” and adjusted its wig with a hair.
“For what?!” I asked, bewildered.
The nose cleared its throat and read out the charges on a piece of paper. “You are guilty,” it took a pause, and then continued, “Of blowing Jimmy so harshly on a tissue. (Oh, so that’s why my nose came off! I blew too hard! I thought.) Furthermore, you have spoiled this years’ Christmas Nosely Ritual, which is only held once every 10 years.” What! My nose was called Jimmy!? I never even knew my nose had a name!
I stood there, flabbergasted, and gawked at them.
“So what are we going to do with her?” The nose who was sitting across from the judge-nose cocked a hair.
“So what are you going to do with me?” I folded my arms.
“We’re going to lock you up in the dungeon, I’m afraid.” The one who was sitting in this meditative yoga state smiled wanly.
My noses’ nostrils suddenly filled with tears (or probably snot). It fell on it’s hairs (again, noses don’t have knees) and pleaded to the judge-nose, “She isn’t that bad. Honest. Please don’t lock her up in the dungeon!!” Tears fell from it’s nostrils.
“Then what do we do with her?” the yoga-nose cried out.
The 4 noses fell into a hushed discussion. After a minute of conversation the judge-nose said, “You are allowed to join the ritual. Come.” It motioned for me and my nose to follow. My nose blew itself on the floor.
“Eww, gross, Jimmy!” I jumped, narrowly missing the pile.
The nose led me and Jimmy through a myriad of hallways until we arrived in a high ceilinged room.
Once again the partying/ritualing noses gawked at me.
“Jimmy!” one yelled, “I never knew your owner would come! You’re so lucky!”
I could almost feel Jimmy blushing. (Except noses don’t blush.)
The judge-nose boomed out, “Jimmy’s owner will join the ritual today!” The noses cheered.
“Why is the ritual held?” I inquired.
Before the judge-nose could respond a nose wailed, “Yesterday my owner’s brother kicked me in the nostril! It hurts!!”
Everybody in the room gave it pitying glances.
“Don’t worry, no matter how big or small, all your pains will be relieved after the ritual!” another nose piped up.
“The ritual is to relieve the decade of pain they have received.” the judge-nose explained.
“ALL RIGHTO, LET’S BEGIN!” it announced.
Abruptly the noses formed a circle and held hairs. Hesitantly, I slipped between a nose who had a nose-ring and another one who was wearing a mini sunhat and grabbed the hairs.
The noses started humming. At first it was only a slight buzz, but then it grew louder and louder until my ears were ringing with the noise. After that, the circle of noses spun on another one of their hairs like a top and I spun too, faster and faster until my head (which was already quite dizzy from my cold) was spinning exactly like my body.
“RITUAL FINISHEDDD!” the judge-nose proclaimed the end of the ritual. “NOW LET’S OPEN OUR PRRRRESENTS!”
The crowd of noses stampeded out of the hallway. I followed.
I entered a room piled with miniature presents. “Here’s one for you.” a voice startled me. It was my nose, Jimmy! He handed a larger present to me. “Wow, thanks!” I hugged my nose (or rather gave Jimmy a big squeeze with my right hand.)
“Come on now, let’s open our presents!” Jimmy hauled me over to a quite spot.
Just as I was about to tear the wrapping paper the room morphed back into my kitchen. My present disappeared. “Hey! My present!” I yelled. Jimmy was gone. I felt my face for my nose. It was there, back in its normal spot.
“Yan Yan! Why are you here? You should be back in bed!” my mom puffed angrily.
“Sorry.” I muttered and went up the stairs, back to my bed.
To my surprise, the present was there.
To Yan Yan, From Jimmy. The label read.
I ripped the present open.
“ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I shook my fist in fury. “A pack of so-called high quality tissues just for your own sake!”
THE END
I would really like you readers to post a comment in the comment box and tell me what you think!
Yan Yan
