The One Year Social Experiment of a Teenager (Prologue)

I've noticed several recurring themes in the books and movies of teenagers in our present century; for one, they're all basically the same. You know exactly what’s going to happen, and yet you read the same book only with different characters over and over again. Like all of these vampire books that are filling the shelves in book stores, or like the books Meg Cabot writes. Not that there's anything wrong with them, it's just that it seems we think that the more we read something, the more likely it will happen to us; that's why the guy always likes the girl back-that kind of stuff makes us feel good. There's a sense of security that maybe there's actually hope for us in high school.
Another thing; no books or movies are ever written about fourteen year olds. Sure, when we’re eleven and twelve we read books about eleven and twelve year olds, but when we get to thirteen and fourteen we read books about fifteen, sixteen, seventeen year olds. It’s like they missed an entire two years of our lives. Is it because nothing interesting actually happens in those two years, or have authors just forgotten that they exist?
Well I’m here today to change one of those things. Ellie Denham, fourteen-year-old girl of Ballarat Grammar School, pleased to make your acquaintance. Admittedly, I will be turning fifteen during the course of this story but that’s because a fourteen-year-old’s life is incredibly boring. Well, mine is.
In this book you will uncover the truly horrible secrets of what some would call my life as a fourteen-year-old, but what I call the One Year Social Experiment of a Teenager. Well, that’s what I’m calling this diary anyway. But there’s nothing really experimental about my life. I’ve never been one for science.
So just sit back and relax as I tell you the gruesomely boring and detailed (but not too much as I don’t want to scare you) version of the story. My story. (If this was a movie there would be some cool song as the camera flies quickly but smoothly around the school, but as this is a book I’m hoping you have the decency and imagination to do that yourself.)

Interesting...promising, but I think it can definitely be stronger. Maybe instead of being so general, you can go more in depth and give some examples of the books you are talking about. You just say that all books these days are the same (which is true if you read those books) but you don't PROVE it-but I would think about reserving your proof for the storyline, maybe a scene where the narrator comes to this realization.
Also, I think that you can get to the basic point of the prolougue much quicker, you could blend all the things you list, because the numbering sort of lengthens it unecessaraly-also, you could enlist some other words, for instance:

"There are several things I’ve noticed about teenage books and movies in the 21st century."

I would write-"I've noticed several sprawling themes in the books and movies of teenagers in our present century; for one, they're all basically the same..." and I could definitely shorten this

but that's just what I would write, I like to use a good word to catch attention, and there isn't a better word than Sprawl out there, and the original phrase of -teenage books and movies in the 21st century-isn't very, Artistic?

another example-

"It’s like we think that the more we read it, the more likely it will happen to us.
Number two: The guy that the girl likes always likes her back. We like reading that kind of stuff because it makes us feel good, like a sense of security that maybe there’s hope for us in high school."

I'd write

"It seems we think that the more we read something, the more likely it will happen to us; that's why the guy always likes the girl back-that kind of stuff makes us feel good. There's a sense of securitry-maybe there's hope for us in high school?"

Here you get rid of the double "it" in the first line, and you blend the first two lines that go together very well, and then gives you a chance to ask a question of your reader or yourself, better drawing the audience in-which is something you do well with the plain conversational tone, that which I suggested earlier was boring, but if you just add a few choice words, a mix up the sentence structure than this can work very well.

On the whole, I am very interested in reading this, because I share the exact same ideal, there are whole shelves and tables at Barnes & Noble right at the front with all those pathetic vampire and magic books. I feel these "books" suck the soul out of the person, and am looking forward to what you think.

Definitely get rid of the numbering, and leave out the (nothing) in that line about the horrible secrets, because it's basically telling the reader that there's nothing to read!

Very promising Just some aestetic changes and a few redrafts and this will be very interesting indeeeeed!

All I have to say is there is so books about 14 years olds! I will list them:
Georgia Nicolson
That other book by Louise Rennison
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

And I'm sure there's others!

But your story sounds interesting

Hey!

I like the sound of this! I, for one, am fed up of trawling through books about vampires to find a book with a decent story line. I can't help writing the whole - 'boy likes the girl back' cliche though. It's just so darn feel good

I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this. Just be careful not to contradict your prologue and make it like all of the other diary structured teenage books that are out there, e.g - The Georgia Nicolson stories by Louise Rennison.

I hope you pull it off and come up with an original twist

Can you let me know when you post more please?

xDudettex

You know, while there are books out there about 14-year-olds, I do agree that after the coming-of-age years they just don't have a lot of that same sort of trend, so I get what you're saying. This could be a cool book, so I'll get started on the next chapters, but in the meantime my advice is just to make this stronger. While I know you're trying to be humble and realistic, I don't think introducing your own story as "boring" is the wisest way to begin. While it could still use a little more work, I do like your character and I think this has potential.
On to chapter one.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver