Last edited by MUCHO on Sun Jun 05, 2011 6:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"This is our decision, to live fast and die young... Yeah it's overwhelming, but what else can we do? Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce, find some more models; everything must run its course!
That really is amazing. The choppy format of it made me hooked. Also, I like the description and dialouge. I really dont have anything to critique, you did a really good job with this. Well, maybe you could make it a bit longer and linger more on what's going on, if you know what I mean. That's what I would do.
Very well done, Bolshevik! I like the format, rhyming, and imagery of this poem! The dialogue does indeed give this poem a rich, powerful effect!
This was my favorite part:
"The sky crusted, the trees fell, our wood bench rotted and broke, the creatures fell ill, and the children sulked home-by night she was the world, and we were alone."
Education is education. We should learn everything and then choose which path to follow. Education is neither Eastern or Western; it is human. — Malala
