to be immortal & Rob's poem

To be immortalTo be immortal,
What would it mean?,
To live and to love but to barely be seen,
To dance amongst the roses,
With the children and the birds,
To find the right moment,
But to never find the words,
Would you find true love?
Or just keep searching?,
Would you make friends forever?,
Or just watch them pass?,
Would you aim for the sky the stars and the moon?,
Or shrink back into the dark and wander by unnoticed,
Would you run through the forest the city and the town?,
Or search the earth for what cannot be found,
To be immortal,
What would it mean?.

Lottie Woodfine
13/11/10


This is a poem i wrote for my friend rob who, at the time, was suffering in hospital with anorexia.

Rob’s Poem
Many a hit Lady Gaga’s had whilst you’ve been away,

I’ve been listening to older songs like Joan Jett and Greenday,

Taio Cruz with dynamite, that was pretty cool,

When Kanye West stole Taylors award, that made him look a fool,

Cheryl Cole and Will.I.am were brilliant with three words,

But I prefer her solo, lifting her malaria curse,

Bieber fever got really annoying, when Justin released baby,

But we all got over it by, saying he had rabies,

B.o.B and Hayley Williams sang about airplanes,

Jedward released their album, and battled their way to fame,

Jason Derulo was Ridin’ solo, that was pretty good,

But none of them appreciate you, I think they should.

that is really goood

These are really thoughtful!
in the second poem, i love the line 'lifting her malaria curse', it's really creative.
i hope your friend Rob is better now, if not, i hope he gets well soon.
very good! :D

I love your first poem and there isn't much i can say about it. Although I'm not an expert. I quite like the repetition and it's general overall feeling. I would suggest stanzas but i don't think the poem really needs it. Although U believe do that underlining 'to be immortal' is unnecessary. I like how is asks important questions but never gives answers.

The second poem was pretty good as well but seemed to lack a rhythm or beat and needed more structure but that's just me. It seemed to be just rhyme nothing else but that and the fact that all the lines where about music to bind the poem together. Also Joan Jett and Greenday are artists/ bands not songs. Overall a nice poem very a very sweet gesture to your friend who i hope will recover. Nice work

Wooop!!
You put them on. I think that they are both amazing. Especially to be immortal. It was amazing when you and Emily performed it. And even Miss. Cheshire loved Rob's poem.
Wuvs youu
Midget
xxxxx