The Beginning of Our Life

5 posts
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Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 1
They whisper and they converse
about the lovely bride to be.
They marvel and they wonder
how you could end up with me.
But love's all that's important;
not their opinions or their thoughts.
Love is all that's needed,
and love is definitely what we've got.

You approach down that aisle
as elegant as can be.
Never before have I seen
an image of such true beauty.
In wonder and amazement,
I nearly embrace you then and there,
But this would disrupt the fantasy,
so I just stand and stare.

I look at all the people here,
gathered to witness us wed.
I look back at you in your flowing dress;
thoughts of my love for you in my head.
I almost tune out all the noise,
but I stutter out all my vows.
We are nearing the end of the wedding,
and all that it endows.

He asks us of our certainty,
and we each reply, "I do."
We kiss and end the ceremony,
as I whisper in your ear, "I love you."




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Gender None specified
Points 997
Reviews 32
oh... my... gosh....
this was beautiful!! i have a tear in my eye
the rhyming scheme was great!
i cant think of anything to say thats bad about this
my favourite stanza was;
You approach down that aisle
as elegant as can be.
Never before have I seen
an image of such true beauty.
In wonder and amazement,
I nearly embrace you then and there,
But this would disrupt the fantasy,
so I just stand and stare.


the whole thing was just perfect, i cant find any grammar or spelling mistakes and the concept and everything was beautiful




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2594
Reviews 171
I love the poem, great great great job, but some stuff did throw me off. Check your meter, a few of the lines are just a beat or two too long, especially the last line. Just one beat too long.
The poem is overall, really great, you did an amazing job at showing not only emotion, but setting AND imagery. That's really, REALLY hard to accomplish without making the poem boring and long.....

Great job :)
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.~Groucho Marx

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Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1040
Reviews 18
This was just amazing! I got chills reading it! It just gave me a really warm and nice feeling all over. The rhyming scheme was just perfect and it's one of my favorite things when rhyming schemes are great. The writing style is great, sophisticated but not overdone. Simple and sweet, yet very emotional.
This is definitely one of my favorites!




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 1
Think you all for your comments and compliments. I'm glad to know that I did well on my poem. I do see that a couple beats are too long, and I will try my best in the future to avoid rhythm conundrums. Thank you again.



I hope that when I am gone, someone still reaches for me like I reach for them
— Leya