Oh, My Dear Forgotten.

Spoiler

Im not really an angry person! I just sometimes remember who I used to be, and who made me who I used to be and get angry. This wasn't really I poem. Just vomits of angry words. I used to be really depressed.

You are my razor
constantly slicing me open.
Thoughts of you
tearing my stitches apart.
They push me
into the open arms of depression.
It my comfort.
The down with out the climb.
A slide of knifes,
slicing at your demand.
Ending a pool of alcohol.
Smoke poisoning my lungs.
Burning, unbearable pain,
because of you.

Alright, this is another poem. From when I was with the person that made me who I was in this poem. Im just posting it to get it out there. Its really old.

Burning blade so hot.
All this pain don't make it stop
Every drop of blood a sweet melody.
A song from hell just for me.

Every bitch
A soulless itch.
Every ache
The world can take.

Soul and spirit
I demand.
My life held in hells hands.

I can cry,
I can weep.
The soul of anger,
For the lord to keep.

They all act so innocent.
Each one an abolishment.
Loser compel,
Each one sent from hell.

Hands to the wall
I'll never leave this hall.
My soul burned in the books.
My body just a look.

Hi! I'll start with the first poem (logically) and then move on to the next. Do they have titles yet? Or, if the first one is called 'Oh, My Dear Forgotten' then what is the second one?

In the first, there are a few small grammar problems:

It my comfort.

should be either it's or it is. I feel like the second one would suit the poem better, but use whichever you like.

A slide of knifes,

The plural of knife is knives - although if there is more than one knife than there would be more than one 'slide', so either 'slides of knives' or 'slide of knife'. I like the second example again. Actually I like the word 'slice' even better, but again - your choice.

Ending a pool of alcohol.

Ending in a pool of alcohol?

Also:

The down with out the climb.

Sorry if it's very obvious and I'm being slow, but I don't understand this line at all!

Okay, now that all the grammar is out of the way, I think you've got a really good base of a poem here. I like where you've put the line breaks, and I like that you're experimenting with imagery! I also like that you've personified depression (with its comforting arms!). But the idea of the poem is a bit tired. It's a poem about anger and depression and cutting, which has all been written about a million times before - which is not to say that you can't write about it, because that's obviously not true, but when we write about very general themes like anger and depression we need to find new ways of writing about it. Does that make sense?

For example, 'ending [in] a pool of alcohol' is a very very tired image; but then you have the lines 'pushing me into the open arms of depression/it is my comfort'. I think you are definitely on to something there with the idea of depression being comforting, because a lot of people wouldn't think that it would be. But just saying 'depression is comforting' is uninteresting. The personification of depression, it having arms, makes a little more interesting and different; I would go further with that image. Also, I wouldn't actually ever use the word 'depression' because it's long and textbookish and clunky. Same with 'alcohol'.

Actually, I'd make the same point about the second poem as well. Try and experiment with new ways of saying the same thing; metaphors, similes, imagery, it's all your friend. I love the 'every drop of blood a sweet melody' line because it's interesting and it makes me curious. Why is it sweet? Is it comforting, does it feel good, why? What's the tune of the song like, is it haunting, upbeat, slow? Take that idea further and play with it.

Good luck!

I think this was very emotional. The pain and emotion was just dancing in between the lines of your poems. Your point was clear, having someone leave you behind or break your heart. They were real good poems overall

...Speechless again... that is beautiful. I read this and suddenly feel so empty I could die, yet so full I could explode.
I never knew that mere man could feel such pain. My skin feels like lava and it's not even hot. You are......wow.

I liked it. I don't know why anyone would do something like that to anyone. Keep writing!

I liked it, something I could relate to. It was clear, not something you could easily NOT understand, there were a few grammer errors, but otherwise, pretty damn good. Haha, good job, and keep writing more, I like reading them all.