A sonnet about love

Just a thing I wrote because I was bored it's a sonnet so yeah.


Pale moon light glistening across your face
Hand in hand we watch as the stars shimmer
As we watch we meet eyes and embrace
When we look out we see moon a glimmer.
Bathed by the light that shines from the pale moon
We spent our time; this night is at an end.
Waiting for the sun to rise while I croon
We sit next each other this I commend
The sun shines on our face first this new day
Watching as we sit hearing the birds fly
O how they dance like a flying ballet
As they fly the moon says to them, “good bye”
We sit and watch this happen is my dream
While I watch your eyes as they glow agleam

This is so sweet and romantic..you sure have a talent with poetry kid. I'd love to read more!

Hey there Ian, how are you doing?
I see you're quite new here so welcome. =) (I'm still kinda new myself)
For a kid your age, this is a good sonnet. Truly, it is. There are some mistakes that should be fixed. 'moon light' is one word, 'moonlight'. And I find so much more can be taken from this sonnet is you used a synonym for words that you repeat like 'watch'. You use that one word in line 2, line 3, line 10, line 12 and line 14. It becomes a little repeatitive. A sonnet is supposed to be symmetrical when it comes to syllable's, and you've almost got it! Line 3, unfortunately, only has 9 syllable's where it should have 10. Also some sentences are broken like, "we sit next each other this I commend". Read it aloud, it sounds quite off. Though the rhyming scheme seems to be quite solid, so that's good. Otherwise, it was a good piece of writing. Sonnet's are very difficult to perfect, and an extreme nuisance to force yourself to write unless it really comes naturally (then you're a prodigy, lol). If you need anything PM me, mmkay? Hope I was helpful,
Mysty.