I lift my heart

4 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1802
Reviews 261
I lift my heart, an honest plea;
a gift I give, to you—from me,
mayhap you shall consider this,
as what it is, a fervent wish.

And all that now, is dear to me,
I now forsake, for love of thee;
for all I give without a care,
if by exchange, you shall be there.

And here is where our story starts,
the surest bond ‘tween soul and heart;
and if you choose, my heart is tied,
so I shall wait, as you decide.
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you.:)




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Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 22
I really enjoyed this poem, here's a star! ^_^ I liked how it flowed, it was very well done and obviously thought out. You can feel the emotion in it as you read, bravo!! I think 'mayhap' should be 'mayhaps' but I could be wrong, to me it just sounds better that way. The only complaint I really have is the last stanza didn't flow as nicely with the first two, I'm just being nit-picky though. I really liked this piece, great job and keep writing!!
Mysty.
'Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia' - E.L. Doctorow.




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Gender Female
Points 2001
Reviews 45
Hey, doll. Looove the poem. It had a great flow and packed full of emotion. It's also pretty cute too. It was very nice and you did a great job. Well thought out. Great job!
Life can be amazing if your slightly strange




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Gender Female
Points 1373
Reviews 59
I like it! Maybe use some deep adjectives though. Love it!



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