We Do Not Exist For You.

3 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1305
Reviews 170
Its been a year
since you have been
able to choke her.
You cannot reach her
from your dungeon.
Hate has swallowed
you. You are drowning
in your fake pool of
wanted tragedy.
She will not reach out
to grab your hand anymore.
Slowly, your slipping,
and she will not do
your bidding. All those
lies you poisoned her with
still run through her veins,
but she is mended.
Your face can no longer
be seen from above your lies.
You are forgotten.
Milestiba uzvar visu, Milestiba ir upuris.




Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 1312
Reviews 18
This is nice and deep. I love the reverse ends, where it's not the girls tragic story being told, its the one who caused the pain. The reaching is a great metaphor as well as physical attribute to the poem. It's symbolism for both the prisoner and the victim is strong and yearning, regardless on if it is received or not. Being a poet myself, I analyze very far into writings, so forgive me if I am doing that to much with yours. I enjoyed it :)




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 67823
Reviews 254
It was nice and you very effectively showed the emotions in your piece...
It was too short though could be a bit more lengthy and you could add more spice to it to make it more tasty..... ^^
Keep up the good work...:)
PM me for anything... :D
Are you living for the things you are praying for?



But sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a person who is in the process of changing.
— Dalinar (Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson)