The first time I saw him,
I was the new girl,
shy and quiet, sitting alone
at a table in the library.
He must have saw me,
and saw something he liked,
because he came over
and he gave me a paper flower.
He was beautiful;
morning sky blue eyes,
sun streaked brown hair,
and the most lovely of smiles.
He flashed me a grin
and asked for my name.
I gave him mine, he gave me his
and that is where it all begins.
I saw him everyday
and quickly fell in love.
Fell fast for his beauty,
that of his body and soul.
Our first date was a horror,
fake looking zombies,
chased not-so-good actors;
giggles exploded from us both.
The movie may have sucked,
but that didn’t matter.
The date ended with a kiss
and another paper flower.
After that it was a tradition
that the first Saturday of the month
we would go and see horror.
Some good, others worse then the first.
I would call him every night,
and we would talk for hours.
We’d talk about everything;
life, love, the past, the future.
Sometimes when I couldn’t sleep
he would tell me fun little stories
about other worlds and brighter places,
about friendly spirits behind monster faces.
He told the strangest of tales,
ones I’ve never heard before.
He was a story teller, a writer,
and I was his inspiration.
Everything was perfect.
Everything was light,
laughs and smiles,
his stories and my poems.
He even wrote me a story;
a prince charmed a girl,
made her fall in love with him
by giving her beautiful paper flowers.
My favorite part of the story,
other then the falling in love,
was the end,
the happily every after.
Paper flowers was his way
of giving me an ever last gift.
To let me know he’s there,
and that he really cares.
Then one day he wasn’t at school,
and he wouldn’t answer my calls.
I went to his house,
but no one was there.
What was going on?
Where was he?
I didn’t know what to think,
and choose not to feel a thing.
I didn’t see him for a week,
and when I finally did,
his eyes were dull,
and his smile no more.
I couldn’t believe it was over,
wouldn’t believe it.
How could something end so suddenly,
with no warning sighs or flashing lights.
What happened to forever?
How could my Happily Ever After
be taken away from me
in a matter of seconds?
After that I was lost.
I was a ghost before I met him,
and now a ghost once more,
now that he’s gone.
I just chose to fade away.
To melt into the background,
just to make the scene look prettier,
serving no purpose at all.
Then I just got angry.
How could he leave me like that!
No warning! No good bye!
Nothing!
I had a fire in my heart,
and had to let it out.
so I did.
I burnt all his paper flowers.
All but two:
The first one he gave me
so many long months ago,
back when everything made sense.
And the last one he gave me
its seems like yesterday,
and now he’s was gone,
and nothing makes sense.
After a while,
I knew I had to confront him.
If I didn’t,
I would never recover.
So that is what I did.
Two weeks after he left me,
on the anniversary of our meeting,
I slowly made my way to him.
The day was gray
and everything was still,
the threat of rain
resting on the horizon.
My eyes filled tears
as I sat on the cold ground.
I let the feel sink into me
numbing the ache in my core.
I traced my fingers along the smooth stone,
letters spelling out his name,
his date of birth,
and date of death.
By then the tears were flowing,
splashing little droplets on hard stone,
burning my eyes,
and blurring my vision.
And in that moment,
when my vision was blurred,
I could almost image
that things were right again.
For a moment I wasn’t there.
I was back in his arms,
listening to all his stories,
living my happy ending.
But then the rain came
and washed the vision away.
Replacing it with a black void
where my happy ending should be
I left not long after that,
after the havens stopped there crying.
I left him there, and resting on his grave,
was a beautiful paper flower.
1-20-11
