Abandoned [deleted]

[nil]

the poem had beautiful imgagery, and the way you put words together...wow.

but I was dizzy, and your pain left me breathless.

but? why but? is it contridicting something? if so, it doesn't make sense to me.

self-mutilation
could never hurt like this.

either A) this ending was dying cliche - like an un-good cliche
or B) i didn't get it.

i'm hoping for the latter, as this is such a good poem.

What is a dying cliche? Do you mean, did "I" die in the end of the poem? If so, no. What I meant was that self-mutliation (i.e. hurting myself) could not hurt as much as hurting the "you" in the poem. Does that make sense?

Wow...beautiful imagery...you've just blown me away

My favorite part:

and the broken wings of dead dreams
litter the earth, like leaves;

However, the end did not work for me. I can't exactly place my finger on what didn't really work in it, but it just didn't. Perhaps it was too blunt. Apart from the ending, this is one of the best pieces I've ever come across.