The Rock - Jasmin Kassas

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As I was drowning in boredom in geography class, my teacher randomly asked me: “What is permafrost?,” I stared at him with a blank face as the class tried to hide their obnoxious giggles. Then Nathan decides it would be great time to correct me and have the whole class laugh out loud. “It’s permanently frozen ground,” says Nathan in his flawless voice.

But this wasn’t any Nathan. It was Nathan Gardens. The coolest, most popular, best looking and even the smartest person out there. Everyone can just imagine what it’s like to be him. He runs this place and he constantly bullies kids at the same time, even me. He acts as if he owns this school. When he talks, no one dares to talk over him. When he asks you to do something, it’s really not an option. It’s do or die. When he walks down the hallway everyone can’t help but to stop and stare. Examine his light tan, big bold blue eyes, brown soft hair, the brand name logo right across his shirt and shorts, his belt hanging off to one side and most of all, his designer shoes.

Finally, geography class ended and everyone got to go home. As, I rode my bike home, I looked to my right and noticed Nathan and a couple of his friends riding their bikes on the other side of the road. I started to pedal faster, trying to get away from them; but instead I hit something and fell over. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Nathan and his friends didn’t notice me. They rode their bikes over to where I was. For a moment I actually thought they were coming over to help me up. But whom am I kidding? They actually came over to laugh at me. Which sounded was a million times more reasonable then what I earlier thought. I got up and picked up the rock that had tripped me over and glanced at it. “Let me see it!” demanded Nathan. Like I said, it was do or die. So, I reluctantly gave him the rock. He stared at it and mumbled some fancy words that he learned from geography class just to sound smart and superior to me. He then promptly threw it on the floor saying it was worthless but I really couldn’t care less about what Nathan had to say. The perfectly round, white rock looked special to me, so I slipped it into my pocket and kept riding.

Once I reached home, I invited my best friend Hannah over. I showed her the white rock. She suggested trying to find facts about the rock online and read about it. By describing the rock, we found that it’s a wishing rock! I didn’t believe it for a second. I thought it was a whole load of baloney. Hannah said, “I wish for some candy” just to mock it. Then, appearing out of nowhere was some starburst on my desk. Hannah and I looked at each other in shock. That was my favorite candy ever. Now I’m starting to think this rock was a physic too.

With this new power in our hands, we came up with a plan to turn Nathan Gardens into a better person. Which isn’t going to be easy. He bullies kids all the time; so, we thought he deserves to be taught a lesson.

When 1st period arose, Hannah and I were so happy to have geography for once. “Can anyone tell me the definition of bitumen?” said the teacher. As Nathan was about to answer, I wished for him to say something ridiculous. “Apricots like plums” Nathan answered. Everyone stared at him in shock, as Hannah and I laughed silently. We made him answer a question with a completely random response for the next three classes and even made him trip in the hallway. Hannah and I felt a little bit bad but not really. He needs a taste of his own medicine.

Today, Hannah was coming over so she walked with me home. Then, we noticed Nathan walking alone further down the sidewalk. We walked faster to catch up to him to continue our plan. We explained to him that our geography teacher had a magacial chalk that could make anybody who has done bad to humiliate himself. Nathan actually believed us. He looked at us with the most saddest look ever just asking for extreme sympathy and said, “Well, I can’t be nice to everybody and it’s like a part of my reputation” We relized that Nathan was extremely desperate at this moment but this was the lamest excuse I had ever heard in my life but I expected that kind of an answer from him. “Well, if you want the magical chalk to stop, then I guess you’ll have to be nice to everyone”

And so he did. There was no more bullying to be seen anywhere, because once Nathan stops, everyone stops. Like I said, he runs this place.




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Points 1040
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I really don't know what to think about this story. haha It made me laugh thats for sure. I noticed that you described Nathan but you never described the person telling the story or Hannah. I don't even know if the person is male or female. Oh and the magic chalk was where you lost me. Who would believe in a magic chalk? I know the rock was kind of magic but Nathan didn't know about that, obviously. I'm pretty sure if someone didnt have the proof they would simply just think they were having an off day. This was just a short story right? There's no more to it? because I think it ended kind of sudden. What happened to the rock? They found this wishing rock and all they do is bully a bully and then what? They just throw it in the bottom of there sock drawer and never think of it again? I think something needs to be done with rock before you finish off the story.




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Points 18529
Reviews 176
This was a very cute and cheerful story. I especially liked the ending, when everyone in the school ends up nice :)

There were a few tense errors throughout the story. You switch between present tense and past tense. You need to commit to a single tense. So this:
...says Nathan in his flawless voice

Should be changed to: said Nathan in his flawless voice.

There were a few other syntactical errors, mostly related to punctuation.

And, when there is a new person beginning to talk (like in quotes) you have to start a new paragraph.

The overall premise of this story is so unbelievable that it takes away from the story itself, but overall it was very refreshing and fun to read.
stay gold, ponyboy



You're a hairy, wizard!
— EllieMae