Idolatry

wings blossomed beneath his hands
where he molded blades of bone in my back,
holding, pushing, sculpting,
tearing my marble skin with a chisel
welded from idolatry and childhood insecurities;
he was deaf to my screams,
to the ripping of bloody flesh and the
last, gurgling cries of vocal chords drowning
in bone shards and ragged breaths--
he’d plugged his ears with a manic mantra,
a declaration of undying love that I could
only hope would kill me soon,
and love blinded his eyes
as he carved me into an angel
I never wanted to be.

Spoiler

Okay, to be perfectly honest, I love this. NOT the poem. Not the actual writing, but the concept itself-- and I feel like it deserves a better piece, because the concepts that I have in my head are ones that I really like... I just can't get it on the paper correctly. :/
Also, should I add more onto it?
Anyways- any and all CC would be welcomed with open arms.

Thanks for reading!
-Coral-

I love this! Why do you have to be so darn good at poetry? The thing is, it's impossible to review, you know? The concept is great, as is the language and imagery. The extended metaphor of the sculpture is particularly interesting. I don't think it needs to be nitpicked. I like it!

Wow! I love this too! Like you said, the concept is really good and I think you wrote this very well. There's not much else for me to say except this was very enjoyable to read. Thank you for posting and keep writing!

Edits done.
Feedback would be warmly accepted so I could do some more.

I believe my thoughts are on webpoet. But I'll come back again and see if I can find anything else when I haz time.

Here's the thing: you've always been good to me. Always. Not just good, but great. I've never not been impressed (terrible wording, I know, I know) by something you write. BUT! My question is, how the hell do you manage to get better, every freakin time? You're just Awesome. Capital A.

I like the changes you made. You kept the words that I didn't care for the last time I reviewed, changed the words around them, and made them fit right in. It definitely sounds like the poem flows a bit better now, and I really like the edited version. The only thing that's sticking out is "bone shards." Bone is good, but shards.. isn't really that descriptive in this context. But, if it works for you, then that's really all that matters. This poem is so great that keeping "shards" in really wouldn't take away from the piece anyway. Overall, I love this to death.

As always, fantastic write. I'm off to read the second one, soon.