I don't know what to do

I don't want to cry.
Because i can see it in your eye
that, you are happy without me.
We are apart.
We are away.
And when you look back.
I will be there to stay.


My heart pains inside me.
But i know its not worth trying for.
But i don't know what this pain is for.
We both are through.
Now i don't know what to do.


When you need me.
You know where to find.
Tell me all.
There is nothing to hide.
I will do what i can
to make it alright.


My hand craves for you.
But i know its not worth fighting for.
And i know that we cannot embrace anymore.
We both are through.
Now i don't know what to do.


I treated you like a dove.
But now i can longer love.
I just needed more love.
But why did you give me a shove?


Yeah we both are through.
And i don't know what to do.

Strong, excellent poem until the 2nd to last stanza. I think it could be made better with a little more time. I do enjoy this though. Very raw and emotional, great!

ehte92 wrote:I don't want to cry
because I can see it in your eyes
that (no comma) you are happy without me.
We are apart,
We are away,
and when you look back,
I will be there to stay.


My heart aches inside me,
but I know it's not worth trying for.
but I don't know what this pain is for.
The wording in the above two lines is a bit confusing. I understand what you're saying the second time you use the lines later in the poem, but in this part of the piece they don't fit very well.
We both are through;
Now I don't know what to do.


When you need me,
You know where to find me.
Tell me everything,
There is nothing to hide.
I will do what I can
to make it alright.


My hands crave you,
but I know it's not worth fighting for
and I know that we can't embrace anymore.
We both are through;
Now I don't know what to do.


I treated you like a dove,
but now I can (was this supposed to say "no longer?" This line didn't make much sense to me.)longer love.
I just needed more love,
but why did you give me a shove?


Yeah we both are through,
and I don't know what to do.

Aside from the puntuation and grammar (sorry if I made any mistakes myself... that would be really stupid on my part), this is a great poem. I can understand the emotion you're trying to show through your words - though you may want to use some stronger diction in the piece to help you out - and I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this. Great write, and thank you for sharing this!

This is very expressive but indirect. That strengthens the emotion of your words, though I agree that a broader variety of wording could fortify it even more. You show a lot of promise and hope to see more from you!

wow, nice poem. I can totally relate to it, to the emotions you're going through in this poem. Nice work

This poem is really emotional. Is it dedicated to someone? LOL. Thank you

Yikes. This is loaded with awesomeness! Breakups are rough and you captured the emotions we all feel perfectly in writing.

Really good, emotional, and gets to the reader. Though, I agree with some that the last part needs some work. But it is good.