Stories From Malaysia: The Busker

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The market is bustling.

Rows of stalls, gleaming bright lights,
Cries from vendors, buyers alike,
Smoke rising, filling the still night air,
Food made and sold nearly everywhere.
One Char Kuey Teow, maybe some apam too,
Wrapped in newspaper, just for you.
Whatever the want, whatever the need,
Nobody lost in the jungle of greed.

The busker stops and lays down his hat,
Pulls out his guitar and takes a step back.
Almost invisible, lost in the crowd,
Nobody notices as he starts to sing out loud.
He sings in time with the strumming of his guitar,
Songs found locally, songs from afar.
Melody and harmony, with poise and grace,
The busker sings every word with a smile on his face.

A man and a woman could not help overhear,
The beautiful music ringing in the air,
They stop upon seeing the bright young man,
Appreciating the talent shining in front of them.
Soon more people stop and a crowd begins to gather,
The Busker's hat heavier than ever,
Vendors stop working to join the crowd,
As the Busker sings even more loud.

For that one moment, the market is quiet,
No more chaos, no more riot.
Everyone listening to songs of love and peace,
Their hearts calm, their minds at ease.
But all good things do not last long,
And the Busker starts his final song.
A song about wars and cries unheard,
Finally, the Busker sings the final word.

He stops and smiles, and clapping ensues,
whistles and cheering, cries of ' I love you '.
But soon the crowd reduces in size,
As people return to their daily lives,
And after the Busker shakes hands with the final fan,
He scoops his hat and counts the money in hand,
Again he is invisible, lost in the scheme,
As if nothing had happened, as if it were all a dream.

The Busker picks himself up and walks away,
Ready to come back and sing on another day.
Last edited by buenno on Sat Jan 15, 2011 2:33 am, edited 2 times in total.
Life is too short for silence. Live life loud.




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Awesome piece!! Keep it up!




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Hey buenno,

AMAZING!!! This was absolutely, no-doubt-about-it magnificent! It was truly spectacular! And I applaud you! You captured the true spirit and vibrant, enlightening energy that creates a great narrative poem and pulled it off smoothly and with ease! Well done!

I've got no constructive critcism at all, so here's me droning on about what I adored: timing! Timing is so important, especially in poems that rhyme. You got the timing so perfect and I love it when people do! Because it is a pretty hard take to pull off, and having the correct timing makes for a smooth-flowing poem. The rhyming scheme was done beautifully too!

The imagery was the most amazing part though. You activated all my senses, especially sight, hearing and smell. It's so important in a poem like this, to make the reader feel as if they were there, and I did! I felt like I was there with you, taking it all in. My favourite line:

buenno wrote:Whatever the want, whatever the need,
Nobody lost in the jungle of greed.


Finally, it was so good to be able to read a bright, vibrant poem! I've read so many on this site that are too depressing, over-emotional and sad! It's like it's all people know how to write! This was like a ray of sunshine through the darkness!

Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf




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Hello there,
I am usually very critical when reading different pieces, I mean, if you write, you've got to put an effort into it. However, Your piece did not just have genuine effort, but also a brilliant talent. I like the way it flowed and I liked being on that market screaming to the Busker "I love you".
You've got an 'it' that all the higher league writers have, don't lose it :3
"I think--therefore I exist" ~ Rene Descartes.
I write--therefore I continue to pursue my most cherished dream.



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Don't be sad bc sad backwards is das and das not good
— LadyMysterio