Nice work, my attention was kept all through reading this. I think the last paragrapgh was good but it could have ended on a more powerful note. I dont know whether it is me but I didnt get the tense in the first part.
I wouldnt say it was cliched but maybe murder is a common thing these days. If developed and planned well with an interesting plot then I shall look forward to a continuation of your work.
The guy didn't get murdered. In my story vampires don't actually kill their victims but leave them a little confused. Hopefully I'll get rid of writers block and come up with a proper plot whatever.
To combat it look at your plot, where do you think it is going, what is going to happen to your characters. Make a questionaire and pretend your characters have to fill it out. Write different scenerios on memo cards, shuffle them and write them as they come from the top. Use a single theme/word from your current story, put it in the centre of the page. Draw lines off it and put all words associated with that one. Try and link the words together to form another scene or chapter.
I’d heard he had started a fistfight in one of the seedier local taverns because someone had insisted on saying the word “utilize” instead of “use". — Patrick Rothfuss, A Wise Man's Fear
