Guided (Introduction)

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I started writing this ages back and its been something that i've been expanding on for actually quite a few years in my head. Tell me what you think about it and whether I should carry it on. :)

Its Started:

Darkness is all I can see. Screaming is all I can hear. It's only just started but I feel like i've been trapped in this never ending pit of hell for all my life, all our lives. We are separating from each other, being forced apart because this must be done to save billions. One person can not have so much power. However, I know that my power will be gone because there are only two powers and theres three of us.
I force my eyes open to see the world spinning at an unholy speed, it looks like its on fire. The screaming increases the longer I stare at this twister of power, fire and hate, then I realise its me screaming. My voice sounds like its one of the billions being added to a dying world. Like I'm being ripped apart. I want to beg for this to stop, for the pain to end, but words do not leave my mouth; it's only noise, a bandshees cry.
"VIOLET!"
A voice is carried over the screams. It sounds only like a whisper, though it is a shout. I ignore it. My mind is consumed by the pain, by hell, by destruction, by death; it can't end like this.
"VIOLET!"
Another voice, it was different. This voice is sinister and forceful, it grabs me and I feel like I must listen. This is a voice of misunderstood evil, not one of light and good.
"Damien," I cry wishing him to listen, hoping my voice will carry.
"Violet listen to me. This is almost done. Stay strong. Angel and I are almost whole. Hold on." His voice drifts straight into my mind, like he is still in it. My inner voice. I begin to cry harder knowing he is leaving me, knowing they both are.
"Angel." I sob, my tears burn my face but I can't stop. I'm losing my only friends, they have haunted my mind for years but have always been there. "Dont leave me."
"It has to be done," Angel whispers. "I'm sorry."
The world begins to spin faster. The most painful part is coming, the one where we become three and not one. Fire starts to engulf us and the heat becomes unbearable. I feel my flesh start to cook and the stench sickens me, but I hold in the vomit ready to burst out.
"FASTER!" Damien bellows.
"We need to go faster or this will never work. We'll be stuck in the half life." Angel sounds like he is almost pleading to the atmosphere around us.
"FASTER!" Both Angel and Damien shout. "We need to will it to go faster."
I want to join there cries, but fear takes over me, I know I will lose them. Though if I dont give myself to them, I know I will aswell. Is it best to have them trapped in an alive yet dead half form, or to have them whole and never to see them again? They will leave me. Become heroes and adventure with there joyous power of light and dark. I will be forgotten. Normal. A normal human. Is it worth it?
"Violet please." He's crying. I feel his tears fall down my face. We are still connected. Though when I glance to my left, I see him. He's in a human form, but he looks like a ghost. I force my head to the right and see Damien. He is the same. They are already here in a way. They are not mine anymore.
"FASTER!" I screech with all my breath.
"FASTER! FASTER! FASTER!" Our voices join as one till the fire and light are dark and the world goes still and silent.
...The Emptiness Will Haunt You...




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WOW...
If its the prologue of your upcoming novel then it is just awesome.... :D
I got some things to tell you like its "banshee's cry"..... ;)
And better omit the vomit part from this because its gross... ;)
Other than that it is just marvelous and awesome... :D
You should continue writing it.... :D
Are you living for the things you are praying for?




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Alright, so, this is a prologue, yes. I tend to dislike prologues, unless it's absolutely necessary for your story. This one just struck me as bland and cliche, espically with your begninng.

Darkness is all I can see. Screaming is all I can hear. It's only just started but I feel like i've been trapped in this never ending pit of hell for all my life, all our lives. We are separating from each other, being forced apart because this must be done to save billions.


This sounds like another post-apocalyptic story. My feelings didn't change as I read on.

I was also very confused. What exactly was going on? Apart from darkness and screaming, I didn't get anything. Slow down and describe to clear it up for the reader. Some mystery is good, but only some or you'll just leave your readers confused

~WickedWonder
'We will never believe again, kick drum beating in my chest again, oh, we will never believe in anything again, preach electric to a microphone stand.'

*Formerly wickedwonder*



If you have a dream, you have a duty to make it come true.
— Marco Pierre White