Promise

Some random idea that popped out of my brain like a poison mushroom. Feel free to comment.

Promise

I walked down the path
Of our joyful childhood
Where we used to play
Under the afternoon sun;
And windblown leaves
Would surround the shade
Of the big oak tree
Where we wrote our names
On its memorable bark;
Then you held my hand
And we swore to each other
We'll be friends forever.

Dear Darkangel
I think that was very sweet, but you could have added more emotion in it
Keep writing

I really do like this, it makes me smile.
However, I do feel like it could of been lengthened and you could of used more imagery and detail to give a stronger view of emotion. Apart from that a lovely piece, the structure was nice and simple.
Well done!

wow. you capture a dream moment for that poem.. romantic and reminds us of beautiful memories of the past.

I like this alot! It made me feel happy inside, like I too was reminiscing on my childhood . Great job! What I especially liked was the fact that you made it flow and have rhythm without having the rhyme every other line. Again, great job!

It's beautiful, and reminds me of when I was young and innocent.

This was an interesting poem. I liked the rythm and the way you used your words. The poem flowed really well and you did a great job with this. Keep on writing, I can't wait to see what comes next.

I like this, but I agree with LilySoulMahon that if it were lengthened and you added more imagery it would be even better. I realize you just randomly put this together, so you haven't edited it much, but having said that, I think if you took the time to edit it, it'd become even better

Beautiful. Maybe more specific words and feelings?

Awww, this poem is awfully sweet. I love poems like these. Sweet and simple. The vocabulary is easy to understand, which is alright, but changing the words a bit can be nice too. It could bring a certain elegance to your poem.

I pretty much liked it, but it was very short. Too short actually. I wanted to hear more about your childhood with this friend, and what happened as you grew up. I just wanted more details into your life. I still don't really know the whole story. It kind of just left me hanging at the end.

RuthDontnoesurname wrote:And we swore to each other
We'll be friends forever.

Ok, are you still friends now? Are you best of friends? Was it a true promise? What happened??

But thanks for writing. Keep on doing it!