I Miss You

I miss you.
And i'm sure that,
you miss me too,
and this is what makes me feel blue.


The days of never ending hugs.
The days we spent catching bugs.
Both drinking tea in a single mug.
You were my alcohol.
You were my drug.


Watching you sit by the riverside,
with a glaze in your eyes.
Air playing with your hair,
as the wind passed you by.


My sleeping on your shoulders.
Your fingers on my cheek.
My eyes observing,
every moment of those days.


Our huge quarrels.
On petty talks.
Your punching me hard,
to make me stop.


Those giggles of yours,
on my every joke.
Those uncomfortable silences,
when none of us spoke.


I miss you.
And i'm sure that,
you miss me too,
And this is what makes me feel blue.

You certainly have real talent for poetry. Each piece has its inviduality and captures you're mind.
I find this one makes me smile and recall past memories, its got good simple detail too.
I really think you should carry on with this style as its fantastic!

This poem Is honestly one of the best I've read. You are VERY talented! I love your style. You should continue writing in the same style like LilySoulMahon suggested.Good job!

In all honesty I can say that I loved this poem and it has a great deal of passion and meaning that some writers are unable to express in only words.

That was like a more sincere version of Your Love is my Drug by Ke$ha! It was amazing! I know you feel sad when writing it, but that was great! Seriously, keep writing!

Hi! I didn't know you write poems too xD.

Nitpicks:

And i'm sure that,

- 'i' in 'i'm' should be capitalized.

The days of never ending hugs.

- 'neverending' is only one word. (It's just that YWS gives it a red underline xD. I checked it on MS Word 2007)


Actually, I didn't find this poem that powerful or moving but, probably, it's just because I can't really relate as I've never experienced this before or probably because I was being dull when I read it lol. *rereads poem* Actually, the beginning part was nicely done xD as compared to the latter part which became to seem shorter and less powerful (for me). The others can relate to it anyway so it's not really a problem. You can't please everybody like what the quote says xD. You have good rhymes by the way, but you seem to have lost it in the 4th and 5th stanza. Also, I like the repetition of the 1st stanza at the end.

I think, that's pretty much all that I can say. Keep writing!

I miss you.
And i'm I'm sure that,
you miss me too,
and this is what makes me feel blue. I was just wondering; do you use the word blue to mean sad in ordinary conversation? I don't, so this rhyme felt a little forced to me, but if it's a natural word for you to use don't worry about it.


The days of never ending hugs.
The days we spent catching bugs.
Both drinking tea in a single mug.
You were my alcohol.
You were my drug. you don't seem to have a fixed rhyming pattern. This isn't necessarily bad, but I think some more structure could make this flow better.


Watching you sit by the riverside,
with a glaze in your eyes.
Air playing with your hair,
as the wind passed you by.


My sleeping on your shoulders.
Your fingers on my cheek.
My eyes observing,
every moment of those days.


Our huge quarrels.
On petty talks.
Your punching me hard,
to make me stop. You stopped rhyming for a few stanzas. Is there any particular reason why? As it happens they're probably my favorite two verses. Probably because they're more emotional. I think trying to rhyme may be limiting you in the rest of the poem. Maybe you could drop the rhymes and just say what you want to say?


Those giggles of yours,
on my every joke.
Those uncomfortable silences,
when none neither (assuming there was only the two of you there)of us spoke.


I miss you.
And i'm sure that,
you miss me too,
And this is what makes me feel blue.

I like the general meaning of this, and you have some beautiful imagery and sensory language.
I really liked this stanza:

Our huge quarrels.
On petty talks.
Your punching me hard,
to make me stop.

I liked the emotions and the insight into how you related to each other sometimes: punching

Some of this poem feels a little artificial though. Don't worry too much about being poetic. Be honest and poetry will happen.

I hope some of this is helpful!

-pigeon

This was good and really heartfelt. I was so moved by every verse, it's no the most skilful thing I've seen you write but it's touching, which is what makes the readers feel and obviously love this poem.
Well done and congratulations non being featured, I know sometimes how hard it is to get featured!!
Anyhow this was beautiful,
Kaka xo I loved it!

This is an amazing piece that just struck the core of my being and I really enjoyed this. You have a great mind for this and I think that overall it was great but you could change the part where you say "and that's why I'm blue" to something a bit more fragile.

Small precious things put into words.
Nice piece