Natalie 3

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Points 1331
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Taken down, have some Lovecraft instead :D

In the tunnels of that twisted wood, whose low prodigious oaks twine groping
boughs and shine dim with the phosphorescence of strange fungi, dwell the
furtive and secretive Zoogs; who know many obscure secrets of the dream world
and a few of the waking world, since the wood at two places touches the lands of
men, though it would be disastrous to say where. Certain unexplained rumours,
events, and vanishments occur among men where the Zoogs have access, and it is
well that they cannot travel far outside the world of dreams. But over the
nearer parts of the dream world they pass freely, flitting small and brown and
unseen and bearing back piquant tales to beguile the hours around their hearths
in the forest they love. Most of them live in burrows, but some inhabit the
trunks of the great trees; and although they live mostly on fungi it is muttered
that they have also a slight taste for meat, either physical or spiritual, for
certainly many dreamers have entered that wood who have not come out. Carter,
however, had no fear; for he was an old dreamer and had learnt their fluttering
language and made many a treaty with them; having found through their help the
splendid city of Celephais in Ooth-Nargai beyond the Tanarian Hills, where
reigns half the year the great King Kuranes, a man he had known by another name
in life. Kuranes was the one soul who had been to the star-gulls and returned
free from madness.
Last edited by Jherek on Sun Jan 09, 2011 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it's always somebody else's money he's adding up."
R. Chandler, Playback




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Points 890
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Very nice! I actually really like this. Are Natalie's "figures" real or just dreams? Hmmm.....'tis suspenseful.

I don't have a lot to say for this. Everything is written beautifully yet I do have to admit, make sure there's not too much flowery prose because sometimes it can get bogged down in the action.

How old is Natalie supposed to be? I got confused during the end because Anton started using such big words like "dream paralysis". Does she understand what this means? Or is Anton's character the type of father who doesn't realize his daughter has a smaller vocabulary? Ha.

That's pretty much it. I hope I get to see the next part in this!




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Points 1331
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Hey WillowD, thanx for the nice words. Natalie’s a young adult actually, out of uni, supposed to be currently working political PR HQ, only she’s having a major breakdown, that’s why Dad’s regressed to behaving like she’s ten, and so has she :)
"Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it's always somebody else's money he's adding up."
R. Chandler, Playback



Sometimes my life just sounds like surrealistic fiction being sold on clearance at the book store.
— J. G. Hammersmith